Jack in the box

Name' sake

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Why I like inflicting pain

3 years ago. January 23, 2021 at 12:27 PM

Because its fun!

Thank you . . . Thank youuuuu. .. .

Good night every one . .. good night . . . .

Thank you

Thank youuu . . .

Butt ☝

Seriously -

"A Sadists Tail". (tail .. .get it? . . . Tail. 😏)

By Jack P. (In the) Box. Esq.

This subject has come up a bit recently, about spankings and pain, etc - so I thought I would speak from the other side.

I feel I am delving in to a huge topic, so please forgive me if I do not do it justice - this is just my personal opinion.

There is a percentage of me that enjoys giving my woman what she needs and wants - (of course ) - but I must admit, there is a percentage of me that is purely fulfilling my own desires. This is where the line can become blurry. Call me sadistic, but hey - I want what I want.

I love my woman, (when I have one) I think shes adorable and I cherish her - and yet .... the thought of taking my belt to her bare ass turns me on. Why??

Why does anyone enjoy spanking their lover, playmate?

I will attempt to explain.

(Sigmond couldnt make it today)

Have you ever watched cats mate? Horses?

Lets not forget the lovely black widow - or praying mantis. (Manti ? 🤔).

They are aggressive, fatal even. Why is this?

The word primal comes to mind - Of course, but theres something deeper, something else going on here.

I believe at its very core, it is dominance over another.

In the hierarchy of order, - Man, woman, kids, pets. (Generalizing for conversation sake, no judgment ).

The husband is the head of this little ecosystem. He exerts his dominance over all.

But why, in some, the desire to inflict pain on his lover? Thats different, right?

Speaking for myself, it takes sexaul activity to a whole new level. It takes my dominance to a whole new level. I can have my woman - or I can "own" my woman. The inverse is true of her - she can give in to me, or surrender her all to me.

I believe inflicting pain is the ultimate human tool to achieve this. (In sexuality).

This is the case, only (emphasise "only") if I know in my heart she truly desires receiving pain. (The body doesnt lie).

My sadistic tendencies are ingrained in me.

Why? - I do not know.

Mommy didnt love me right?

I watched some movie?

Genetic defect?

You have people that act out childhood dysfunction, and you have people from completely "normal" upbringing. So who really knows?

Subs experience "drop" after a session - Doms do too. Why is this? My theory - because it goes against what we were taught is "normal" - to beat someone, or be beaten by someone - guilt for the pleasure.

Low after the high.

Do you experience drop after just having sex?

Im not suggesting it should be considered normal for all (wouldnt that be fun? 😃) - but I remember the days before enough people came together to form groups and online places - where it is normal.

Huge relief to come out of the closet, as it were.

To summarize - I dont know why im like this and my neighbor is not.

But its fun!

😏

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - Thank you Jack. Personally, I've always wondered, "What drives a person to want to inflict pain? What goes though their minds as they swing their arms and just before that moment of impact? What emotions do they feed/experience/go through as they are deep within the scene?"...

While your blog was a glimpse, I wish I understood more.

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
You are quite welcome Ms SBD ☺

Basically, opening a door for discussion - why hurting her makes my dick hard? I dont know.
(That would never be the case if she did not desire the same - huge distinction there.) I do know I have limits to what I desire - ive had subs that wanted more than I did. Theres another study - what created those linits? Or not in others?

I would be very curious to study the differences (if any) between, say our generation, and the newer generation into kink. But I know this type of behavior has been around for a very long time.

3 years ago

Water Lioness(sub female) - Ever see a silverback male gorilla ask for sex? Of course you haven’t. It’s his due for keeping all his ladies safe. And he’s not too gentle about it either. Inserting something into the body of another being, including a part of your body, is an extremely aggressive instinct. At the most basic level, it comes from the same deep seated part of your brain that houses the instinct to kill in order to eat. It behooves the female involved to enjoy and submit to a certain amount of man handling and aggression during sex, as it keeps her from accidentally being killed. It also gets her the biggest most aggressive male to father her babies. Big aggressive babies, have a better chance at survival. Practitioners of the BDSM arts, are merely acknowledging the pressures of Evolution, and the natural order of the Universe.

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - Hmmmm, interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing it.

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
Very interesting point of view Ms Pattyanne, thank you ⚘
It still begs the question, however - why inflict pain?
Nature is indeed rather violent - but does it have to be?

3 years ago

Water Lioness(sub female) - Yes, it does. A lizard lacks the part of the brain that is required for rational thought. When he encounters another animal, he only has four choices of action...flee from it, fight with it, feast on it, or f*** it. All aggressive all or nothing actions. Humans have the same lizard brain, but over that they have the cerebral cortex. This allows for nuance and modification of instinctual action. It is my belief that kinky people are hardwired into their lizard brain in a more intricate way than most people.
Animals without this modifier are limited in their choice of reaction to the outside world.

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
Quite a concept to consider - ive heard that term before "lizzard brain" (cant recall where/when).
So are kinky people more evolved/adapt - or less?
(Thinking outloud, that can be rhetorical 😏).
Thank you for the input. 👍

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - Thank you for this post, Jack.
I ran into a really interesting person once upon a time who explained his own desires along similar lines, but took it a few steps farther. For him it had to do with the reaffirmation of the bond between the two partners; what one was willing to go through for another. Very much along the lines of what I regularly say "submission is not in what I want and would prefer, but when I'd rather say "no" but instead find the courage and strength to say "for you, I will." In his case, it was an outward and visible expression of the inner and invisible depth to which his submissive was willing to go for his sake and his sake alone. The really interesting part was that it was NECESSARY for him a hard need that the same be reciprocated. Though he was in no way shape or form a switch, he needed the same to be expected/demanded of him.
He was a very unique individual.

Thank you for allowing us this window into understanding your mentality.

~Faith

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
You are welcome Ms Faith, and thank you for sharing. ⚘
I suppose I could have delved much deeper - but honestly, I started writing this a couple weeks ago -and just prior to finishing, I dumped a pot of boiling water on my phone (dont ask) - so I just kindof summerized and hit "publish" 😏
Wanted to get it out there.

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - I'm sorry about your phone, but I'm glad you are back!
I think it was a very good post.

My question back to the "yes, but why inflict pain" is... do you think it has to do at all, for you, with a similar mindset? An outward and visible sign of what someone will go through "for your sake"?

Different from the Gorilla analogy (which is totally valid) people have an innate fear that we will be left and abandoned. We need to test those limits of what our partner will "take" so that we learn the lines of where not to tread. It is only in finding those boundaries we feel safe. Example: we say "in sickness and in health" but once someone is seriously hurt or injured how quickly does that turn into "well I didnt mean if you became a burden."
So we test the limits of our lover to find where those lines are. In a way, massochism and sadism push those limits just a little farther each time, and in so doing cement the relationship further proving to each that the trust grows, not shrinks in a very tangible way.

But maybe that holds no water for you.

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
On a subconscious level, you are probably right. I guess another topic could be "why spanking?" (My particular fetish).
Why not, pinching her elbow, for example - but I digress.
On a conscious level, I am not considering testing her loyalty.
(Oh how right you are btw - when the going gets tough - "peace! Im out!").
It is more, I just want to "take her".

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - oh spanking is pretty easy one to figure out on a psychology level. But the question is, do you really want to know? *eyebrow wiggles* some people prefer just to leave it to the mystery. <3
"It is more, I just want to "take her"." <<<< and this is totally valid! (and awesome)

3 years ago

Literate Lycan(dom male) - Brilliant blog Jack! Very insightful. I enjoy many aspects of stimulation. That’s how I see many of the kinkier aspects of play in BDSM - although I haven’t experienced many of them, in my mind I can see how they might work. For me, I love fighting for the sheer sake of fighting (in the ring, martial arts, you know). In the physical contest, I am alive! The exhilaration! The challenge. The first punch or kick received just elicits a great smile from me as I know it is on. And giving ten times more to whoever I am facing. I am brutal and primal when I fight because I love it! It’s something I’ve been doing almost four decades and still have great passion for it.

Likewise, I don’t consider myself a sadist per se; however, it’s the sensation received and the energy shared between the two that comes to mind. That is what compels me to wish to play impact. Because part of me knows the recipient isn’t receiving pain so much as a stimulation that provides them “pleasure” of another sort. Some people hate to be tickled, others hate to be massaged; others love to be tickled until they veritably piss themselves. For each, it’s a pleasure just wrapped up in a different package. So masochists enjoy pain much like a piece of chocolate or an iced snow cone on a hot day. I wouldn’t enjoy giving pain to someone who didn’t want to receive it. But someone who wants to receive it would give me so much energy. I think to me, a sadist wants to give pain to anyone/everyone regardless of whether they want it because it is all about what the sadist wants. Yes, when they find the right match in a masochist, it is probably awesome for both. Although I’m willing to bet to the sadist, it’s much more exciting giving pain to someone who doesn’t want it, but that’s a question only a true sadist can answer. I cannot.

For me, Dominant drop has more to do with the amount of energy received and amplified. What goes up above normal doesn’t return to normal. It goes down below normal (like a sinusoidal wave). That’s how I perceive the drop. Dominants and submissives share in the same surge of energy which goes high (like floating). When the energy abates, it drops lower and all the emotions that go with it occur.

As for why spanking . . Seriously a pristine, glorious smooth ass just begs the loving, cupping bare hand of someone to grace it!!

Awesome discussion!

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
As always my friend, very well stated - and thank you for the input ☺

When I saw the movie fight club - I have to admit, it stirred something within - I get it. Pulse pounding alive!
I suppose a good deal of the aspects cross those same lines, eh?

Also, most likely a spot on analogy of the "drop" experience 👍

3 years ago

Literate Lycan(dom male) - Brother, we should definitely hang out when the pandemic is over. I think an evening of beverages and cigars and just sharing knowledge.

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
Sounds like a plan ☺👍

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - *air mails some Pedron cigars and a bottle of Glenfiddich to Jack's house*

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
Thank you!. 😃

😎

3 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - In the: I found this to be an excellent read... I did read it a while ago, but was not in the mind frame to comment.

I will make mine short. Having masochist tendencies and knowing what it "does" for me, I also know, well feel, what it does for the Sadist. I liken the two at the opposite ends of the spectrum. One quote that I have always resonated with is:

The Masochist: desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should *be inflicted with Love.*

The Sadist: desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be *felt as Love*

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
Thank you for the quotes Ms Karyn , I will definitely remember them.
I too have read things, but not in the right frame to comment - no worries.
"Excellent read" makes up for it. 😊
Thank you. ⚘

3 years ago

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