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3 years ago. February 27, 2021 at 2:51 PM

 

12:45

 

 

Ive been trying to work on my communication skills lately.

If you have a problem with that,  go fu . . . 

 

Oh, right. . . . 

 

 

I analyze everything - im not exactly sure why . . .  ill give it some thought and let you know . . . 

 

I am a Cancer star sign.

Life experiences,  etc.

All of these effect how I communicate. 

I was having a conversation recently with a dear friend. They gave me an example - 

If they were to ask a certain loved one "what time is it?"  The response would be a break down of how a watch works.

In my reiteration /acknowledgment of understanding this, I gave my own example of what "I" do ~

Someone asks me for a dollar, I will say "sure, here . . . maybe 2?  . . No here, take 5 . . . "

The person is asking for a dollar.

The way my brain and emotions work, I want to fulfil their request to the best of my ability. 

But . . . The person asked for a dollar.

(Poor example because, well . . . .money - but you get my point)

Its easy to see where the best of intentions could lead to a frustrated break down.

 

Disclaimer - 

I am no expert - just my experience and what I have learned - because learning is important . . .and many books can be found at the library . . . libraries are great buildings - the 1st one was constructed in the 7th century in . . . 

 

Oh, right . . . 

 

I have said "we are what comes out of our mouths." (Or fingers in this case - our words)

The picture we paint to the outside world of who we are.  ("Actions" . .. I know, I know. . . . .shut u. . . . . . . oh, right. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I kinda like talking inside parentheses.  . . Its like side words . . . I can say anything I want in here.    . . .ha ha hahaha . . . Yes! That dress DOES makes you look fat! . . . . Ok ok . . . Here it comes . . Sshhh 👉. . . . . . . . . . . . .)

 

I remember when I was young seeing sign language for the 1st time. It was like living art.

 

When someone is speaking to us, we tend to be half listening, and half formulating a response. The result can often turn into a battle of feelings.

It seems to be . . . . 

Listen -

acknowledge -

reiterate what they said - 

confirm, "yes, that is what im saying, thank you"   - 

ok, your turn . . . 

 

I also believe it is vitally important to understand the person themselves - ie, the source. For example,  as stated above - I am a cancer/male/INFJ, etc.  I will "naturally " express myself a certain way.

Also, where this conversation /emotion is coming from - hurt, envy, anger, worry, etc.

 

Good communication takes a conscience effort.

 

 

Just my um . . . . Ya know . . . Thoughts for . . . .. ah . . . . What!?  Dont judge me! 

 

 

"Honey . . . .you have a nail in your forehead"

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - I sound like the guy responding to what time it is . . . Allow me to explain how time works . . . Hmmmm

No judgements here for certain. The way my mind works during a conversation I’m in twelve different boxes at all times. I have to pull away from what I am doing to focus on actual conversations, especially if they (the person or the conversation) mean something or are important.

So, go fu . . . I mean I totally get it. It is vitally important to understand how the person you are communicating with communicates . . . And likewise for them to understand you. Or me as it were.

Good blog to think about!!! I need to . . slow . . down when I speak and think.
3 years ago
Literate Lycan​(dom male) - Oh and your parenthesis just remind me of the “Fourth Wall” - that separates the actors from the audience. . . LOL
3 years ago
Jack in the box -
Thank you for sharing you Mr L
☺ 👍 🍻
3 years ago
ellefire​(sub female) - I'm an external processor - sometimes I speak entirely in parentheses! Some family, friends, and students have learned the associated (facial expression) or (manner of speaking)!
Great post!
3 years ago
Jack in the box -
Thank you Ms Ellefire, for sharing you - and thank you. ☺⚘
3 years ago
Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - Time... Communication.. I have written on these. You are correct. There is a saying "Most people don't listen with the intent to 'understand', Most people listen with the intent to 'reply'". Being clear, concise (like time) and honest is the best type of communication. As is responses. We tend to "hear/read" what we are feeling, as opposed to getting clarification. That questioning is the best course to avoid any misunderstandings!

Awesome blog In The! Thanks for sharing! 🌸
3 years ago
Jack in the box -
Great points Ms Karyn, thank you.
And you are quite welcome. ☺⚘
3 years ago
OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} - I have a hard time not anticipating as well. I try to hear what people aren't saying... that is rude and intrusive >.< I try to catch myself when it is not wanted. Your money example, what people say and what they need are sometimes different, you can tell in their body language or their tone, I also wonder if they maybe need 2 or 5 dollars, often. ^_^ Gets me in trouble sometimes. I always wonder what people aren't saying.
3 years ago
Jack in the box -
Guilty. 🖑
I do the same.
Thank you for sharing Ms Oracle
☺⚘
3 years ago
Bunnie - Haha it’s funny how our experiences shape our perspective. I am very literal, so if someone asks me for a dollar, I give them a dollar... however, oftentimes what they’re not telling me is that they actually need 5. So they walk away $4 short and thinking I’m an ass for not offering more.
I love how your mind works, Jack, it’s always a lovely start to my day, reading your interesting thought processes. Thank you :)
3 years ago
Jack in the box -
You are very welcome Ms Bunnie, I am glad you enjoy my blogs. ☺
And thank you ⚘
3 years ago
Jack in the box - ☺
3 years ago
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} - I listen and try to hear, although I some times fail and drift off in another direction..like now....is honey ok?
3 years ago
Jack in the box -
Heehee. "Like now" 😊
Thank you for sharing you Miss Bonnie ☺⚘

Honey will be just fine . . . . Eventually
3 years ago

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