Random thoughts as I peruse the blogs and forums....
**Mentors are ADVISORS. Experienced and trusted advisors. You do not train under a mentor with them as a dominant and you a submissive. If someone calls themselves a mentor but demands service or wants to control you or any aspect of your life... run away, far and fast!
**If you begin a dynamic with a dominant and early on they instruct you to buy a bunch of implements and toys, this is not ok. If they demand that you change your look as far as clothing/shoes/lingerie and are not willing to subsidize the purchases... NO!
**Just because someone is loquacious, does not make them an expert. Spouting a whole bunch of rhetoric they pull from other posts, websites, blogs does not mean they know what they are talking about. If you openly admit you are new to the lifestyle, you don’t get to educate people in the way. Making up random facts to make yourself look intelligent is dangerous to others. Sit down young’un and learn something before telling others what to do Also stop encouraging people that are new and clueless to educate
**The BDSM test is rubbish... complete and utter rubbish. It’s so easily manipulated, you can make the results be whatever you want them to be. If you feel like it’s a great resource, I have a stack of old Cosmos that I’ll send you so you can tailor your life to what their ridiculous quizzes say you are. If you want to improve your relationship and vetting then what you should spend your time filling out a BDSM Check List such as this one(there are many others):
https://bdsm-checklist.pdffiller.com/
This is a comprehensive list of activities and interests, that should be updated at regular intervals as your experience and relationships change. It should be done by everyone, no matter your lifestyle role. It helps your vetting be more thorough. I cannot tell you how many time I’ve seen someone say “He did (insert activity here) and I had a meltdown” and when asked if they vetted for that particular activity, the answer is almost always “NO”. This can help mitigate situations such as this. So save your time that you’d use doing the BDSM test, and do a checklist instead.
**The way I’ve seen cunnilingus described by some of you in your erotic writings makes me wonder a couple of things.
1. If you’ve ever went down on a woman.
2. If the answer is “yes”, if this is why you are single.
Unless your tongue is the length of Gene Simmons, thrusting it inside the vagina isn’t going to have your lady writhing and screaming in ecstasy. The sensation is pleasant when someone pays attention to that area but it’s not going to be orgasm inducing, the average tongue just isn’t long enough to reach the G-spot or thick enough to stretch the vagina pleasantly. If your girl is screaming, she’s faking to boost your ego. (Ladies, please fucking stop this, let’s agree to give credit where credit is due and not reward bad skills). Also, I’ve seen it described as “chomping on lips”... No, just no. Nips and nibbles to make a lady jump is fun but not going to be what induces an orgasm.... and let’s face it... the orgasm or the ruining of one 😈... is the end result. Stick to the clit mostly for pleasure, talk to your partner and learn what makes them quiver Normalize feedback after (or even during sex) to find the things that work for your partner. Let go of the shame and embarrassment of “not doing it right” and LEARN what works for that particular woman. We are not all the same and experience and enjoy different things.
(Note: Pussy worship is a completely different act and is meant to encompass much more attention and time).
