My Very Own Jeremiad

Yet again my world is crashing down around me.  I’m tired of having to say good-bye to people way too soon.  Yes, its life, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck for those of us left behind.  The hurt, sadness, is all consuming and if I end up falling down, I’m not sure its worth getting back up, but there is no other choice.  Up I go every time only to be knocked back down.  One step forward and three steps back. I’m definitely not going in the direction I’d like to be headed.  Maybe I should just turn around. 
 
Today, will be one of many for me to mourn and grieve. Tomorrow I will be back pounding the pavement.  One of many fears is latching onto a number, chasing it down to move through the pain.  This simply sucks, I have no words, no more tears just a deep feeling of despair.  I thought I couldn’t feel more loss, angry, sad, scared than I have been over the last few weeks and months.  Joke’s on me apparently.