Right.
I knew what I was interested in. I know what my limits are.
So, being the information hoarder I am, I decided to do an in-depth analysis. And holy shit.
I've been aware that my history has influenced my interest in BDSM & fostered a Submissive part of my personality.... but now I'm a little frightened about some of my "kinks."
Admitting these bluntly, written down, really highlighted some Masochistic tendencies. I have been doing enough reading to realize that this isn't necessarily a bad thing, that it could actually help me work through it in the hands of a partner I trust, that out of my control it could be cathartic. ....But what if this awakens my stabalized PTSD?
It reminds me of something I had to confront the other day for a project with work.... Being abroad has made me realize just how conditioned I am to fear gun violence.... It took leaving my country to see that I've developed a trigger. [THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO GET POLITICAL, PEOPLE. PLEASE, NO OPINIONS ON THIS BELOW. KEEP THE COMMENTS KINKY >:) ]
Seeing the correlations of my kinks and "bad years" didn't scare me off from BDSM, which is what is most surprising (concerning?) to me in all of this. If anything, investigating my interests was arousing.....
Chime in below with your thoughts.
Without further ado; Ivy's list:
Experience:
~ } no experience/new term to me
00 } no experience, no interest
0! } no experience, interested
- } little experience
+ } some experiene
!! } experienced, love it
Limit/interest spectrum:
/*/ Faux leather only, please! (yes, yes, yes, I know.....)
/0/ Hard Limit
/1/ Neutral
/2/ for the right partner
/3/ willing to try, cautiously curious
/4/ like it/the idea of it
/5/ very interested/excited to try
Potential triggers/challenges:
^ } past self-harm method
" } past abuse experience
X } scared but morbidly intrigued
% } embarassed to admit/acknowledge
I warned you fuckers I'm a obsessive compulsive analytic XD
Limits & Interests (Fall 2018)
- "ABANDONMENT (short or long term) 00/0/X
- ABRASIONS 0!/5
- ADULT BABY 00/0
- AGE PLAY 00/0
- ANAL (sex) 0!/5
- ANAL (plugs) +/5
- ANAL (beads) !!/5
- ARMBINDERS 0!/3/X
- BEGGING +/4/%
- BELTS 0!/4
- BITING +/5
- BLINDFOLDS -/5
- ^BLOODPLAY +/0/X
- BONDAGE (lite) +/5
- BONDAGE (heavy) 0!/5
- BONDAGE (public)0!/4
- BREATH PLAY (choking) 0!/4/X
- BREATH PLAY (suffocation) 0!/3/X
- CAGES 00/1/X
- CANES 0!/4/X
- CHAINS 0!/4
- CHASTITY DEVICES ~/3
- CLOTHES PINS -/2/X
- COLLARS 0!/2
- CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT 0!/3/%
- CORNER TIME 0!/4
- CORSETS +/5
- CUFFS +/4
- CUM PLAY -/4/X
- DADDY DYNAMICS -/2/%
- DEGRADATION (public) 0!/3/%
- DEGRADATION (private)0!/4/%
- DIAPER PLAY/SCAT 00/0
- DOUBLE PENETRATION (oral & anal) 0!/2
- DOUBLE PENETRATION (vaginal & anal) 0!/4
- ELECTRICITY 0!/4/X
- EROTIC MODELING 0!/3/%
- EXHIBITION (acquaintances) 0!/1/X
- EXHIBITION (strangers) 0!/2/%
- FEET -/3
- FEAR PLAY ("scarousal") 0!/4
- FIRE 0!/3
- FISTING 00/1
- FLOGGING 0!/5
- FORCED MASTURBATION 0!/5/%
- FORCED SERVITUDE -/3/X
- FURRY PLAY 00/0
- GAGS 0!/4
- GANGBANG ~/4
- GOLDEN SHOWERS 00/0
- GROOMING (caring for the physical/hygenic wellbeing of another, dressing them up/down, etc.) +/5
- HAIR PULLING -/4
- HOODS 00/1/X
- "HUMILIATION (verbal, psychological) +/3/X
- ICE 0!/5
- IMMOBILIZATION (not including face) 0!/3
- KICKING 00/0
- KINBAKU/SHIBARI 0!/5
- KISSING !!/5
- KNEELING -/5
- ^KNIVES/RAZORS +/2/X
- LATEX ~/3
- LICKING +/4
- LINGERIE +/5
- MASKS 00/0/X
- MASTURBATION !!/5
- MEDICAL ROLEPLAY 00/2/X
- 'MOMMY' DYNAMICS 00/2
- MUMIFICATION (incl. face) 00/1/X
- NEEDLES -/0
- NIPPLE CLAMPS 0!/3/X
- NIPPLE WEIGHTS 00/0
- NIPPLE SUCTION -/5
- "OBJECTIFICATION 0!/4/%
- "ORAL (give/recieve) +/4/X
- ORGASM CONTROL/DENIAL +/5
- "PADDLES +/5/%
- PET DYNAMICS ~/3/%
- PLAYING IN PUBLIC -/3
- POSTURES 0!/5
- POWER EXCHANGE (total, play) +/5
- PUNCHING 00/0
- RESTRAIN(-ed, -ts) -/5
- RIDING CROP 0!/4
- RIMMING 0!/4/X
- "RESTRICTIONS (behaviour, eye contact, speech, etc.) +/5
- RESTRICTIONS (toilet/washroom) ~/2/X
- RITUALS 0!/5/%
- ^SCRATCHING 0!/5/%
- SCHOOL DYNAMICS 0!/5/%
- SENSORY DEPRIVATION 0!/5
- SEX (in scene) !!/2
- SHAVING (giving/recieving) 0!/4
- SHIBARI/KINBAKU 0!/5
- SLAPPING 0!/2/X
- SPANKING +/5
- SPITTING 00/2/X
- STRAP ON 0!/2/%
- SUSPENSION 0!/5
- SQUIRTING +/5
- SWALLOWING 0!/4/%
- SWINGING 0!/2/%
- TAPE 0!/3/X
- TEASING (giving/recieving) +/5
- THREESOME/GROUP 0!/3
- TICKLING ~/4/X
- TOYS !!/5
- VOYEURISM 0!/3/%
- WAX 0!/5
- WHIPS 0!/5
