The questions always seem to come from deep within. Am I good enough? Was I ever good enough? These questions can rack the brain for days at a time. Than comes a time when the questions either stop or completely overtake you. There was a moment a month or two back where the questions overtook me. They tore me down and ripped me apart. I picked apart my brain to figure out what and why I wasn't good enough. The day after? It all clicked. It's not that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't the girl they wanted me to be. It took time for me to realize they just wanted to change me. For me not to being a needy brat when I had my bad days and couldn't express myself. They didn't want me to be me. They wanted me to be someone they had before and had lost. So than the questions start of, why couldn't they just love me for me? Is she that much better than me?
Over time it was eating at me until I saw a new light. It's not that she was better and I was worse. It's just that they couldn't let go and didn't want to let go.
So when the questions start to kick up again because, honestly my past is troubled, it takes a lot for me to remind myself that if someone truly loves/wants me it will be for who I am. Not who they think/want me to change into.
