Why am I like this? Always get somewhere I want to be than have to go and fuck it up? Seems like it happens everyone. I think I'm finally getting to where I want and getting what I want than i open my stupid mouth and mess things up. When will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut?... But wait.. if I keep my mouth shut how will others get to know me? How will others know how much I care? How will others know how much of an EMPATH I am...
The other night I heard something horrible happen in my neighborhood. Someone was shot and killed... I heard everything...the. gun shots the screaming the crying the begging for help... than I heard the ambulance arrive... I heard the cops... I watched people all over my neighborhood gather all together to see what was happening. The emotions that happened and surrounded my home that night was overwhelming sadness. I cried for someone I've never met before. I cried for his family and friends that are hurting. I cried from the pain everyone was feeling.
Being such an EMPATH is hard... I'm physically drained today and opened my stupid mouth and said something I shouldn't have. I messed up an amazing friendship I had just bc it is so hard to understand all these overwhelming emotions. I just don't get why when I get this way I try to explain how things feel I get angry and mad that they don't seem to understand. "Get over it" or "there's no way you could feel all that" and my favorite is a point that I already made "but you didn't even know the guy".
Sorry for this post. I needed to get it of my chest and out of my head. I will be discussing this all with my therapist on Tuesday. I'm just having a hard time adjusting and I know it. Please forgive me if I seem snappy or rude. Hope everyone has a good day.
