How interesting it is to randomly listen to some new songs and one just happens to hit a cord with you and your past. For me, this was Strangers by Taemin(he's a k-pop artist I've grown to love). Just listening to it I can hear the emotion in it and feel it quite profoundly too. So, of course, I had to look up the lyrics in english.
"....It's been a while/even if we didn't even say that in our relationship/it will forever remain as a piece of memory for you and I/can't be erased forever/just pass me by. It's so strange, you already know me more than I know myself/the only stranger in the passing people/don't want ton stay here anymore/cause you and I are strangers with memories..... Strangers you forgot me got me, we know that now you and me/ strangers you forgot me got me, pass by/ strangers you forgot me got me, until the other one fades/ you and I are strangers with memories...." -Strangers by Taemin
I definitely have people in my past that fit the bill. It can be quite amazing to see people you knew in your past and realized they have never changed from as you knew them. On the other side of that there are those you don't know now that you knew back then. Sometimes it amazes me how bad people end up hurting each other in relationships. Like why do they do that? So stupid. Anyways, there are a few people that instantly came to mind. so now comes the part where bare a bit of my past, cause doing so can help the healing process... right?
The first that came to mine was my 3rd husband. I know, I know... WTF? But I'm so young right? Maybe, but I've lived literal lifetimes in these continuing years on earth. To continue, all that emotional hell he put me through is slowly dwindling down with every passing day. I still have a while to go before it's all just scar tissue remaining. He might see me on the street and recognize my face, but I'm just a stranger now. To think about it now, I feel like it wasn't my life that it happened to. Like it's just memories of an intense movie that feels real. Little snapshots here and there. A smell here, a place there, and then the occasional song that reminds me of a specific point of time in the relationship. He wouldn't understand the changes I've made to be who I am now, effectively making us strangers with memories.
The next one that was brought to mind was my ex-friend that was my best friend for nearly 21 years. This loss is more recent, but is no less feeling when it comes to looking at who we are and who we were. I fought so hard to keep a relationship that was just not meant to follow me into my new life. back then I needed that one person who I always felt needed me for real, unlike how so many others I felt I was just a toy or trophy to. She was a person that I knew would always be there needed something from me, and because of who I am I needed that kind of person cause all I ever want is to serve. I can now say that I can see that I have been growing as a person over the last 3 years as she just has stayed the same.. well actually that's not right. She has become even MORE needy over the last few years. I still look back at the way we were in the past with fondness, and I always will. In the end she will just be another photograph that I put away.
I honestly don't know how easy I am to forget, but I DO know that I remember everyone. It matters not if the person hurt me or if I hurt them, they are still in my mind locked away until something triggers a memory. So many really have become this "strangers with memories". Past marriages, old friends, past lovers, random hookups, enemies.... Each little pictures in my life photo album or ripples in the pond that is my life. Several times I have seen someone that I know for one reason or another and I remember those little moments, those memories with a stranger walking by me. Just like in gardening, you have to cut away the dead and over grown parts so that you can have the biggest and most beautiful blooms or fruit. So, I will continue on and willingly close the door on all those strangers with memories that just held me back from who I am meant to be.