It is what is looks like.
I am no longer in a LDR that talked about moving across the world to be together. That talked about forever and working through anything.
The animosity of arguments claims another relationship that could have flourished. I am glad it ended when it did. I am not pleased how, go figure.
I would not have thought, before coming to BDSM, that it would be difficult to find someone who understood, or at least wanted to. I figured it would be a place where people knew more about themselves than in the vanilla world. That they put the time in to being better, not just for finding validation.
I am still sure those people are out there. I just feel like there is a lot more insecurity to navigate in this arena than maybe there would have been in the Vanilla world.
I won't go too into detail with anyone about my newly ended relationship. I had a good friend for a long time. I would not choose this outcome, yet, I know it is for the best for us both. I only wish I knew how to figure out, much sooner, how to tell if someone is decisive or not, insecure or not, or a victim in their own mind or not. These things aren't becoming a better person, they are just justifying an inability to be better.
I can always work on myself, but finding someone as equally passionate about themselves, is proving to be difficult, and painful. I am going to miss his personality. I like that personality. He truly is a rare person.
