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The Muse

A creature that drives inspiration and passion in the soul of an artist.... Why is she charmed? She has become enthralled with her subject. The artist has rendered her to her knees.
5 years ago. January 30, 2019 at 8:41 PM

From a local artist... local to me!  Dave Matthews!

 

Say Goodbye

 

So here we are tonight,
You and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
What's on my mind
You've got me wild
Turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
Up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now
Now let's make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make
Our passion pictures
You and me twist up
Secret creatures
And we'll stay here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
But tonight let's be lovers,
We kiss and sweat
We'll turn this better thing
To the best
Of all we can offer, Just a rogue kiss
Tangled tongues and lips,
See me this way
I'm turning and turning for you
Girl, just tonight
Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tomorrow go back to your man
I'm back to my world
And we're back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight let's do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up it's all ours
On our way here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
Tonight let's be lovers, say you will
And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love
A thing or two I have to say here
Tonight let's go all the way then
Love I'll see you,
Just for this evening
Let's strip down, trip out at this
One evening starts with a kiss
Run away
And tomorrow
Back to being friends
Lovers, love, lovers
Just for tonight, one night, love you
And tomorrow say goodbye

5 years ago. January 30, 2019 at 7:52 PM

For now anyway.  I have loads of side projects.  Enjoy this little gem I found!!! It excites me!!!! All hail the new princess Frank-N-Furter !!!

 

5 years ago. January 30, 2019 at 5:47 PM

I received a random follower on my Instagram profile and I always go in and look at their posts to see what sort of person this is following me... I might have to follow this person back!

 

5 years ago. January 30, 2019 at 1:48 PM

With all the discussion on abuse and surviving.... Someone had shared an Alanis Morissette song.  I’m sharing one that struck so many cords in me.  It is relatable and I can still feel every word and how angry I truly was.

 

I was afraid you'd hit me if I'd spoken up I was
Afraid of your physical strength I was afraid
You'd hit below the belt I was afraid of your
Sucker punch I was afraid of you reducing me
I was afraid of your alcohol breath I was afraid
Of your complete disregard for me I was afraid
Of your temper I was afraid of handles being
Flown off of I was afraid of holes being punched
Into walls I was afraid of your testosterone
I have as much rage as you have
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
And I've kept mine bubbling under for you
You were my best friend
You were my lover
You were my mentor
You were my brother
You were my partner
You were my teacher
You were my very own sympathetic character
I was afraid of verbal daggers I was afraid of the
Calm before the storm I was afraid for my own
Bones I was afraid of your seduction I was afraid
Of your coercion I was afraid of your rejection
I was afraid of your intimidation I was afraid of
Your punishment I was afraid of your icy silences
I was afraid of your volume I was afraid of your
Manipulation I was afraid of your explosions
I have as much rage as you have
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
And I've kept mine bubbling under for you
You were my keeper
You were my anchor
You were my family
You were my savior
And therein lay the issue
And therein lay the problem

5 years ago. January 30, 2019 at 7:29 AM

by Extreme (couldn’t help myself!)

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
La di da, da di da, di dai dai da
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
La di da, da di da, di dai dai da
More than words
La di da, da di da, di dai dai da
More than words
La di da, da di da
La di da, da di da, more than words
La di da, da di da, di dai dai da
La di da, da di da, more than words (oh uh uh uh)
More than words

 

 

5 years ago. January 30, 2019 at 1:49 AM

What does it mean, exactly?  I stuck it in my profile as something I want because I thought I knew what it felt like.  

“You know nothing, Muse.” (Ygritte from Game of Thrones steps in to tell me)

 

I thought my last Dom may have cherished me... but I retract that belief.  He may have cared, but that’s even stretching it to an extent.  

I have discovered there is something better for me out there.  I have tasted it and I am not going to settle for anything less.  There’s no going back. 

Before, I had always felt that any attention was desired and I felt like he was investing time in me because he was interested.  But ... he really wasn’t. He didn’t care what my favorite color is or what I enjoy cooking.  He’d disappear for weeks without sending word of how he was.  Then he comes back and is more interested in playing games.

I was not cherished. 

He always said I deserved better than what I was used to having.  Which he was definitely better than the rest... but now my eyes are open.

He may have looked like a unicorn... but I’m revoking that!  

 

 

5 years ago. January 29, 2019 at 8:48 PM

So... my mother has it in her head that I will someday magically become great at keeping houseplants.  Every time I remind her that I kill plants.  Not on purpose.  I will kill a cactus.  It just happens.  Yet she leaves me with her plants to care for and gets upset with me when she comes to visit and they are all dead.  Or at least I think they’re dead.  That woman is magic when it comes to plants!  She’ll bring anything back to life!

So there’s this palm or fern... I don’t know which really but it’s doomed because this:

 

 

5 years ago. January 29, 2019 at 3:35 PM

by Erasure

(because I just don’t have any)

Where it is you wont say, but it hurts
Put your lips next to mine and apart
Why wont you open your heart?
I feel it coming it grows up my spine
I'm dying to show you what love is about
The tears that are falling
There's no room for doubt
For all the changes we've been through
It's an art just to give, will I learn?
To visualize what you want from my life
It's more than enough just to gaze in your eyes
I'm dying to show you what love is about
To tease you and please you
We must work it out
I know all your secrets so sad
For all the changes we've been through

5 years ago. January 29, 2019 at 8:59 AM

I was eight years old when we met, although he would argue and say it was since birth. He said he lived in the corners of my smile and in the shine of my eyes while trying not to cry. It happened a lot. The tears that never left my eyes clung to hope. Hope that one day would not be filled with loneliness. One day there would be someone like me.


The other kids thought of me as some sort of pariah, playing all alone on the jungle gym during recess, oblivious to the eyes on me. The game was called Elevator Dinosaur. I made it up, of course. In my mind, the world was full of tiny beings. I called them the people of Plym. My little friends needed help getting places. Sometimes they wanted to visit the vast heights of the climbing bars of Londontowne. Only a dinosaur would suffice in such situations.


My mouth opened wide, chin pressed to the cold metal of the lowest rung where my passengers waited. The Plym people trusted I would never eat them. Mouth closed, the trip to the top took a while, having to stop at every level to let some off and let others on. My cheeks were puffed like a chipmunk when I made it to the destination. I could only imagine what the entire game must have looked like to someone watching.


“What exactly are you doing?” He asked me.


With a mouthful of the Plym, I could not respond right away. My tiny friends needed to be let out. Staring at his swinging red Converse, I peered up at him. The grin was the first thing I noticed. With his head blocking the sun it was hard to see little else, save for the silhouette of wild, messy hair. Squinting for a moment, I pressed my chin to the top bar and allowed my passengers to go their merry way. My cheeks burned as I looked around then back up toward that grinning face.


“It’s complicated.” I said as I tried to shield my view to get a better look and could see his green eyes through thick glasses. They caught the sun and I had to look away. “It’s just a game.”


“Oh, I like games. Could I play too? Games are usually more fun when you play them with a friend.”

His words came out in a rapid string and he had lowered his head to stare at me. His face was close and his features reminded me of an imp. Still grinning.


“I guess…I’m a dinosaur, you see. I am helping the Plym people get to the top of the bars.”

Looking down at the ground, I heard him make a nasally squeal drawing my gaze back up to him as I continued.

“They ride in my mouth. I suppose you could be a dinosaur too.” 

Before long the two of us were transporting the Plym people from one level to the next, giggling and having the best time.


That was my first memory of Luathas; or Lu, as he liked to be called. He has never left me since that day; A loyal faerie guardian.


                            ~*~
                  (16 Years Later)


Lu sat across from me at the table with his arms folded across his chest, leaning back in the booth. His Fedora was resting so low I could not tell if his eyes were open or closed. Faeries never slept, although Lu was brilliant at faking it. A long breath escaped my lungs as the silence between us gave me time to notice the gurgling in my stomach.


“Lu, are you going to have something this time, or are you going to sit there like a lump?” I narrowed my eyes and ducked my head to try and see under the shadows of his hat. “Luathas!”


“What?” He responded so quietly, I almost didn’t hear him.

He had been sulking ever since I stopped channeling. I don’t know why it bothered him so much. Time was all I needed. Only a few fragile weeks had passed since leaving Blake.


“Are you going to enjoy a snack?”

He stared at me as I asked the question in such a manner I felt as though his gaze would burn holes into my soul.

“Okay. I suppose that would be a ‘no’.”

My eyes rolled as I looked away and down then I lifted the menu and studied it carefully. It made a nice barrier between us, even though I knew he would be annoyed, because I exerted the effort to get his attention in the first place.


“I am going to wither away to dust and you just sit there…deciding on what toppings you would like on your next flayed piece of cow flesh.”

His eyes remained focused on the very center of my forehead. The area felt hot under his gaze.


“I offered you something. I don’t really know what you mean though. I thought you didn’t need to eat…or you just eat for the fun of it or something.”


I knew he wasn’t talking about food. Risking a peek over the edge of the menu, I locked eyes with him for a moment. He huffed and retreated beneath the brim of his hat. Tossing the menu in the middle of the table I glanced around the diner to note there were only a handful of people there; none of which were paying us any mind.


“Fine.” The word came out sharper than I intended.


I pointed at the fork sitting in front of him and took a deep breath. The energy began in my feet, like a warm carbonated beverage it filled in the air around my skin and rose up my legs, abdomen, and chest. I slowly released the breath, and held the energy there for a moment. Another breath and the fizzy sensation made its way around my shoulders and along my pointing arm; all the way to my fingertip. This time, when I released the breath, I moved the energy from my finger to the fork. I could feel every molecule moving like a heartbeat, surrounding the fork, which shook for a moment and stood unnaturally on its end.


“Happy now?” The fork clattered to the table.


“Tease.” His eyes danced from the fork to my face and I could see a hint of a grin.


“Oh, come on, Lu. It’s been really hard for me.” Channeling that tiny bit of energy actually felt really good.


“You did what you had to do, Hes. He could have killed you.” His hand folded over mine as he reached across the table.


An ache settled inside my solar plexus. Escaping the relationship with Blake had left me with many scars. Not all physical. Magic had left scars on Blake. I hurt him. Dropping my eyes to the table I let out a long breath.


“I just can’t shake the image. No one deserves to be permanently disfigured. I just wanted to get away. That’s all.”

My eyes closed and I could see Blake seething; his hands around my throat. In response, a hand went to my neck and I shuddered.

“I think he might be following me. I think I keep seeing him."


Lu withdrew his hand and folded his together as he leaned over the table. His green eyes bore into me from beneath his Fedora.


“Are you sure you aren’t imagining it? I mean I’ve heard about these things. You suffered quite a trauma.”


“No. I’m not sure about anything really.” I choked down a lump.


“Have you decided on your order?”

I didn’t even see the waiter slide up to the table, but there he was, waiting with pen and pad in hand. The uniform was clean and still had fold creases from being freshly pulled from the package. He must have been new. Cute. A clean shaven, babyish face. Not really my type. Maybe it should be. Pinned to his shirt was a shiny new name tag that read, “Hello, My name is Justin!”


“Oh!” I glanced at Lu, to which he shook his head and with a soft sigh I looked back at Justin, “Just some chili cheese fries, please. No sour cream.”

My sidelong look at Luathas was an attempt to let him know I was expecting help.


“A cup of honey mustard! It doesn’t have to be a large cup…any small cup will do!”

Lu spoke with such a sudden burst, I nearly left my seat. Honey mustard? My eyebrow twitched slightly as I stared at him.


“For the fries?”

I guess it wasn’t the strangest thing I have heard some people do. I had a boyfriend who used to dip his fries in his chocolate shake. Lu just looked blankly at me with no answer and I waved a dismissive hand at him and offered Justin a smile that I hoped was a pleasant one.

“I think that will do.”


“Alrighty. Chili cheese fries, no sour cream and a cup of honey mustard. I’ll put your order in right away.”

Justin had about four dimples when he smiled. Really cute.

“Too cute,” I whispered as Justin walked off.


“No ass, though. Nothing to swat at.” Lu sighed. “Or pinch.”


I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was amazing how little energy from my channeling seemed to invigorate him. Lu said he could feed off magic anywhere; even magical residue left over from a spell. What I do is far more satisfying apparently, because of our bond.


 (Almost the entire first chapter)

5 years ago. January 29, 2019 at 6:21 AM

Unicorns really DO exist.