I was thinking about all my past eves of new years and I think I’ve been pretty boring this time of year for the majority of them... or possibly really drunk that I don’t remember. My bet is on the former. I used to drink more but I’m really a light weight when it comes to booze. Two strong beers and I’m on the table swinging panties around on my finger and I don’t even wear panties!
I can recall two or three that I remember. One was spent with my stuffed animals and a 45 of Prince’s 1999.
The other was a bit less innocent. I was home on leave and attending a wild hotel party that my bestie was throwing. Not much to tell... kissed a guy I met there.. we slept together.. made out... no sex. I never saw him again. My own choice.
One other New Years I spent ringing it in with a Dungeons and Dragons party... and the same guy who I had made blue with my food colored hair (that’s in a previous blog). He broke up with me the next day. Yay!
This year ... 2018 ... has been full of challenges. I’ve had surgery. I lost an incredible Dom. I moved. I filed for bankruptcy. I had to quit my Master’s degree program. My son has been in and out of the mental ward. (He’s homeless right now). It’s been ...rough.
I’m looking optimistically into 2019. I’m evaluating my vanilla relationship and how I’ll go about breaking that up. The thought terrifies me. My most recent Dom would tell me “Its not about strength”... and it really isn’t. It’s about heart. Mine still hurts. Less than before. I just need to hold it together.
I wish you all many blessings as we journey forth into this New Year.
Lots of love!!! And of course hugs and kitty snuggles! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The Muse
