”You are so sensual.” He murmured against my lips. I could not stop kissing him... but it was time to say goodbye. He stared fiercely at me and held the back of my neck firmly and breathed, “I have to see you again. Tell me me we can see each other again.”
I couldn’t say no.
We met again a few weeks later. He rode around in my car with me while I took care of a few errands, all the while tormenting my ear with nips and kissing my neck. His hands sinking between my legs. I could barely drive.
Finally he insisted we go somewhere. Anywhere. He’d pay for a room. He became my lover. We met a couple of times thereafter.
Then the fateful day arrived that everything went to hell. I couldn’t hide it and my husband was on a plane to Virginia to “talk” things out with me the night after I had last seen the guy.
I could still smell him all over me. That smell I had grown to love turned now to guilt and shame. I had no time to wash.
I met my husband at the airport and immediately he approached me and ripped my wedding ring off my finger, with the diamond engagement ring, and threw it in the garbage can (I really felt I deserved that). We went home. He also made me remove my nipple piercings I had because I had allowed another man to touch them.
I don’t remember everything that was said... other than how he made it clear he wasn’t exactly faithful to me while he was in Texas. I wasn’t entirely surprised. He decided to “do me a favor” and work things out for the sake of the children.
We tried therapy. That only seemed to make him more angry and he would twist what the therapist would say to benefit his plight. He told me that the therapist told him in confidence that I was having psychotic episodes.
I discontinued therapy with with my husband because I felt like I could not trust the therapist. I started individual therapy for myself. My husband had to know everything I talked about in therapy... he wanted to guide what I would say. He wanted to make sure I got cured of my cheating behavior.
I honestly thought that was a character defect that I had. He had me convinced I was a cheating whore. He had no part in this.
tbc
