Today was a much better day...a whole lot less emotional!! Yay!!! Then I made a poor decision to make a "joke" to Sir concerning something that resembled an emotion from yesterday....not a good idea. Because my emotions have been all over the place throughout our new relationship (a whole lot has happened in a short amount of time) and his emotional side is very different than mine...Its understandable that the "joke" didn't come across that way. But on the bright side it opened up a window for us to have a serious conversation on how each of us see and take the emotions we are feeling.
After our conversation it left me feeling guilty about what I had been dealing him...so I decided I needed to read up on a few things. I found an article that discussed how men and women deal and process emotions differently purely based on our chemical make-ups.
Men need to be needed...its something that is ingrained in them from cave man days. And women have been trained over the past 100 years to take care of themselves...so how do you balance it? My balance is I submit myself to him...but I also need to show him and thank him for all the other things I need him for....the man things...he professional drive, holding my door open, ordering my food, etc.
Remember that we all need our own time and space. His escape is the video game...and thats his release from the world...I need to give him that time. He needs to give me my time too...a long bath, a massage, book reading time, etc. I also need to make sure I take that time for myself...I need it so I can grow my own self confidence more. And remembering that a man works like this...you know how when you have a big meal and your super full so your done now...that is exactly how they work. I just got everything I need right now and Im done for now. Thats with just about everything...they get their fill and then they are done...no over thinking, no remanissing, no shoulda coulda woulda thoughts....its literally I got full and Im done and dont worry about it until Im hungry again. Compare that to a woman's brain...OMG.
I just need to remember that even though I don't see his tears...he is hurting and missing me too. I don't expect him to do anything about my hurt...other that just love me through my missing him.....and all he needs from me is to be strong and verbal about what is going on in my head....He can't read my mind.
I Do LOVE my Daddy very much...and I hope he knows that...even when it seems I'm crazy.
Until Tomorrow.
