I know this is a random subject...but stick with me. With all the Halloween hype and movies it just has me thinking about ghosts. Not this floating bedsheet kind of ghosts...but the ghosts we gather through this life.
We have a kinds of ghosts that "haunt" us...past relationships, failures, family issues, personal tragedies, etc. And we let these ghosts haunt us and tear us down. Everyones ghosts effect them in different ways...depression, promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, self mutilation, etc. Some people like their ghosts...and define their lives by them. Some people fight them everyday wanting them to go away. Some do a little of both.
I've seen all kinds of ways that ghosts effect people...and let them define their lives. Some sad, some interesting, some are down right scary...and thats all OK if its working for you. But I bet for the most part its not...
I was thinking about my life before and how I had a lot of "ghosts" that were dragging through life with me. I used a lot of my ghosts to give me excuses....or even push me through the hard times. But now that I am starting to see clear and understanding what life is...and how it is meant to be....Im starting to feel like I have been a ghost in my own life.
The way I am opening up to him (and myself) is helping me see that I have floated through life not really letting anyone see me. They may have seen parts...and there are some people that have seen a lot of my parts....but I have never truly let anyone see all of me. To know whats going on in my head....how I over think everything, how I have so many questions bouncing around in there that no one else would care about, how I study people and want to know their story, what really turns me on, how I can be cruel, how I can be so blind to truths, how I have a morbid curiosty about things...I could go on...but you get the drift. There is no one on this planet that I have shown my true self to....until now.
There are somethings that I am discovering everyday...for myself...but no matter what I am finding out about myself good or bad...I am not afraid to show it to him.
I have no idea how he knows that I need to talk...how does he make me want to tell him everything?? I mean...I can be sexy, stupid and an incredible dork in the matter of minutes...and he loves it. I can do in front of him what I have only ever been able to do in the shower or in the car by myself. He knows more about me in the span of months...then people do that have been in my life for my entire life.
Each day that passes I can feel another ghost passing on and leaving me. Soon all of my "ghosts" will be a distance memory....and I feel the life that they were taking away from me coming back more each day.
My Master has all the glory for what he is doing in my life. I will never be able to give him what he deserves in return...but I submit my mind, body and soul to him as my gift to him.
My hope is that you can recognize a "ghost" that you have been letting haunt you for to long...and let it go. Surrender to the power of submission and open up your soul to a new dominance...if you have not found your one to help you...then let your own power help you...so when you do find your one...you are ready to accept without the ghosts.
