Day 9 and its basically the half way point to having my Heart back to me. I miss him so much...I see him on our video chats and I just want to touch him. Its so funny how its the little things that mean the most...the way he softly rubs my cheek in the middle of the night, the smell of his skin, his breathing when he sleeps, the biting of his cheek when he's not realizing he's doing it, the energy he brings into a room...
Ok...enough of that before I cry...
I had a friend notice my collar today. She said...I love your necklace...did "He" get it for you? I said yes...and she said Oh that's so sweet...I'm going to have to tell him he did a good job! It looks so good on you! She made a mention about it having hand cuffs...but never ask a thing. A little later she called me (she was just in another office) and said...Why does your necklace have hand cuffs? I said...would you really like to know? She said yes...and I said to come back over to me and I would be more than happy to explain.
Now...this is the first person that has notice my necklace...or maybe the first person that really to notice to it. As I was waiting for her to come back and talk to me I was thinking to myself...How am I going to explain this? Is she ready for my truth? And I realize that this is my moment to be honest about my lifestyle and how I have chosen to live it....this is not a blog...this is not a random person...this is real and in person...and its my time to explain to her what this means.
She came in a sat down...I showed her that the heart is really a lock...and it's locking the handcuffs together...and I can't take it off. I don't have the key...my Master does. She just looked at me kind of strange...and I said it's my collar. Her eyes got big...and she just said OOOOhHHHH. I then asked her if she knew what that meant...and she said "I think so...it means he owns you". I said yes it does...but let me explain it all to you.
I took the time to explain what the collar meant and what it meant to me and him. I took the time to explain the Dom/Sub relationship. I took the time to explain to her that its more that just kinky sex...that when I became his submissive that it means that I surrender all to him...my body, mind and soul. That there is nothing he doesn't know about me...and how I have rules to live by that ensure that I am surrendering all of my mind to him and building a bond like no other. That by doing these things I am opening up all aspects of myself and allowing him to control it all...and through this I am able to experience a love like no other...and to enjoy the physical parts of the relationship like you can never imagine. That when you are truly free and open with your one...the experiences you have together are more than electric...they are pure ecstacy.
She was so mesmerized by the time I was finished...I'm sure she is at home now googling everything she can about it! As for me...I felt liberated!!! I felt like I had just freed a secret that I never want to be a secret!! I was able to explain to someone that the love I have for this man is so much more that love...He is my heart, my protector, my lifes blood, my air I breathe....I was always meant for him...and my body has its missing piece and I finally feel whole.
I have been on cloud 9 ever since letting out this truth...I love how the honesty verbally made me feel even more honest with myself...and even more in love with him. I love how what I thought might get a judgement, was greeted with compassion and a confession of her own that she wished for that kind of love.
It did make me miss him a little more today....because all I wanted to do was come home and worship him for what he has given me. He will reap the benefits of this day when he returns...I will thank him over and over again...as long as he lets me ..:-)
Until tomorrow.