Only 5 more days…and it feels like it is so far away!! I need him so much…my desire to have him, to smell him to touch him are so strong. I can almost taste his kiss…when I stare at him while we video chat it takes so much of me not to want kiss (literally) the screen!!! My body is in over drive with the anticipation. It makes me impatient!!!
I didn’t want to “adult” today. Have you ever had one of those days that you just think I really don’t want to have to deal with the bullshit. I don’t want to make a decision about anything. I don’t want to stress…I want to be the submissive…I want to be told what to do and cared for. I want to have clearly defined rules and know exactly where I stand and know exactly what I need to do to be rewarded. I want to know my punishment if I disobey.
Life as a Sub is so much more simpler in my mind. Why can’t the real world be like that?? I mean…I have clearly defined rules, there are clearly defined expectations, clear communication and outlined punishments. I don’t have to worry about anything as I know exactly what my Master wants and what I am expected to do. My Master knows what I need and what to say. There is no guessing games in my Submissive life.
I wanted to be his Baby Girl today…and nothing else. I wanted to be guided and told what to do….I wanted to be punished for being a brat. I wanted to be held, cuddled and spoiled. I wanted to have my face caressed and my ass spanked. I wanted him to show me all of his dominance in full force and then hold me tight against his chest and rock me to sleep.
I didn’t want to “adult” today….I would have given anything to be able to be with him today. It would have been so much better than this typical Monday in the stupid Vanilla world where nothing is defined and the games you play are cruel with ever changing rules.
He is my rock and the light I look towards to get me through. I love him so much…I need his guidance and reassurance some days more than others. Some days I just need him to tell me what to do…Even when it’s ridiculous…I would follow him to the ends of the earth, through hell and back and then do it all again….I didn’t want to do anything today…but just be his.
Until tomorrow…
