I never realized how difficult a holiday would be without your true love. Even though I have lots of family all around me...the one I love the most is all by himself. It’s just not fair.
The bright spot was talking to him the evening...seeing his bright and shiny face. Hearing his sweet voice and having his smart ass side poke fun at my pimple!
Im learning how to cope with this life...and being without him....but I will never get used to it. It literally feels like my heart is outside of my body...and even though my body is functioning it’s just not quite right.
When all you want to do is please and serve him...and I can’t at this very moment...is torture. If this were a punishment...it would be the most cruel of all of them.
It’s just day 2 and the pain of him gone is still fresh...I know the scab is forming....but it’s still very raw in me at the moment. It’s just trying to get back into the swing of things...I prepared better mentally this time...but the holiday put a new spin on it for me.
Thank-you all for your support...it helps me tremendously! You all had me crying this morning with your words of encouragement. It truly means the world to me....
Until tomorrow...