its been a month since i released myself. and no its not normal ...i was supposed to ask the Domly to release me. But i was hurt and angry and was not going to respect Him enough to allow Him the courtesy of releasing me.
and yes everyone's gut feeling is...if someone was so nasty to you...how can you say you love him? well as other subs will agree.....we dont know where the other persons heart is. no one has predator tatted on their forehead or even over their heart. its not even on their fingerprint. and putting our best self forward....we want to love them because in our hearts we want them to love us. just because the predator did not have integrity in their thoughts, words, actions and deeds does not mean that the unsuspecting sub or slave didnt. Love is pure. and when Love exists its not a bad thing even tho the person being loved can be an absolute animal.
so when we are hurt we want to deny that we loved that person which i think hurts us the most in the long run. holding on to hatred and anger just gives the predator the ability to continue to have power in our life. i believe its okay to accept that we genuinely loved that person. in love i believe its acceptable to forgive them. they can be so sick and twisted that they will never accept responsibility for themself and apologize for themself.
so in order for US to heal we have some important work to do. use the love you know you have for them and forgive them. no they dont deserve it....but YOU DESERVE IT.
and then use the Love you feel for that person and accept the apology that you know will never ever come from them.
and THAT completely takes away any power they may have had over you. its the end of all the bullshit.
put them where they belong in your life....in the rear view mirror and keep them there.
and then for fun......figure out a 5 year plan for your life. where you want to be in 5 years. goals, dreams whatever it is you want to do....while you are at it ....write a bucket list. places to visit, stuff to do or try out.
walk away from the mess you feel you were dumped into and pull yourself out of it.
you might never get any answers out of that person in your rear view mirror...and you shouldnt spend your valuable life trying to figure it all out.
and the next time someone starts treating you the same way....use your brains and walk away before it gets too deep.
go out and live. YOU DESERVE IT. its your life.
we toss people out of our lives for good reasons
