as i sit in front of a window showing a wintery landscape i am reminded that just as winter is a season...this current time in my life is also a season.
with the recent split in my D/s relationship....i am acutely aware that most of my life has changed like a volcanic eruption.
and like the magma that spills forth from an angry volcano.....i have sometimes not very patiently waited for my anger and hurt to cool off and get to the point where it will no longer burn me when touched.
so i found ways to keep busy ...and entertain myself ...distracting myself from the ever present magma that fills my heart and i learned a few things about myself.
now more than ever....i have a clear understanding of myself...i have a dark side and oh hell yeah i accept it...and then there is my brightness .
im not bi-polar but i do have 3 distinct sides to my personality....the quiet and sweet side, the fun and crazy side, and the side that you never ever want to see.
when i really dont want to talk to you.....i have the ""dont fuck with me wall" that i erect... its very thick and strong and you wont get through it many have tried and failed
when it comes to love its very clear cut and simple...if you are gonna love me.....then love me...i dont have time for games. if you are afraid of loving me...keep walking
You need to realize at some point.....im gonna stop giving someone the benefit of the doubt and just move the fuck along
With me...i am okay with allowing someone to stay in my heart.....but not in my life.
I am not a princess....i dont need to be saved.....I AM A QUEEN and i can handle my own shit very effectively.
i will never mistakenly put the key to my happiness inside someone else's pocket.
i can like someone....but at times when it comes to my space, i need my space and you better get out.
i wont pretend to like you if i dont actually like you
if you dont find yourself loving my spirit, heart and character then you need to leave
one of the reasons why i am happpy and bright and cheery is because i know my life isnt perfect....but im happy with what i have and im grateful to have it.
i am creative and independent.
i wont hang out with toxic people
if i want something i wont give up easily
always look forward to the next adventure waiting just around the next corner
one of my coldest features like the ice and snow outside is my ability to detach myself from anyone.
either you want to be with me or you dont
im gonna be like an elevator and stop and let you off.
putting me on a backburner causes me to loose interest and drift off
never underestimate my ability to stop giving a fuck about you
treat me how you want to be treated
show me your heart and that its in the right place concerning me
causing drama around me is a fast way to get cut off
Treat me well and i will move mountains to make you happy.....Hurt me and I will drop those mountains on your head.
dont kick me when im down cause when i get back up you are seriously fucked.
So yes the snow is still outside....and despite the snow i am learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from people and things that are suddenly no longer meant for me.
if you hear me laffing its because ive been silly again.....expecting too much from people....girl time to stop that!!!
