Silver(sub female){not intere}

Contemplative musings of a sub.

Honest gut feelings about real issues facing chatters here drawing from what i have been taught and from what i have personally learned.

question for discussion!!!!

5 years ago. September 6, 2018 at 2:29 PM

lets say....you are a collared sub. and an aquaintance of yours who is lifestyle minded has met your Sir who is poly and they have chemistry together.

this new possible sub lives long distance from your Sir and seems to have general life issues that pop up and that person tends to need advice on a regular basis.

this new person has had a habit of always calling you first before calling Sir. And sometimes its to borrow money and even then this person calls you first.

how does this make you feel?

do you want to change this?

if so....how should you go about trying to change it?

what would you say?

why would you say it?

what do you expect to see change???

and who would you speak to first?

if you decide to let it continue....why?

and yes this might trigger strong feelings, mess with your hormones and make you mad or angry....please share

honeyswhore{Callie} - Gee, you ask simple questions. *rolls eyes*

5 years ago

Devil's damsel(sub female){HandsomeDe} - If it were bugging me, i would tell my Sir and let him handle her. Or flat out tell her, you have to stop, there are proper channels.

Oh and if you’re giving out free money, i’ll pm you my address. I accept cash, check, and all major credit cards. 😘

5 years ago

SubforHim(sub female) - I would tell her she has to go through your Sir. Period.

Then I would have an open and honest conversation with your Sir about your feelings about it. It seems like you may have some strong ones and of course that should never be kept from your Dom.

5 years ago

WEAPON X{Master} - Fubar couldnt have said it any better

5 years ago

Bunnie - @ Fud said perfectly what I would have tried to say. I’d just like to add that it seems like maybe you’re struggling with setting boundaries. Perhaps she is just seeking your approval because she’s new to poly and doesn’t quite understand much about it (?), however, clearly it’s pushing your buttons. Perhaps you could speak with your Sir about wanting to discuss it with her, and talk over some ideas on how you can set some clear boundaries with her for yourself... and then discuss it with her.

5 years ago

Bunnie - Sorry to answer your questions:
What I would say (along the lines of), is that it makes me uncomfortable that she asks for money, and that I’m not always in a position to be able to help her financially. I would also reassure her of how I felt and the things I experienced when first walking in her shoes. Perhaps even try to discuss where her behaviour is coming from... most often fear. Discuss where I’m coming from when I explain that it’s pushing my buttons and that I need .... (space, communication... insert whatever it is that you need in this situation). It more than likely will require ongoing discussions. Learning to understand each other’s communication language so that you can communicate effectively. It may take her a while to simply feel secure enough in all of the relationship so she’s just looking for a “wing.” It’s difficult once it’s already gotten to the stage of someone pissing you off, but that’s probably how I’d try to go about it.

5 years ago

Silver(sub female){not intere} - great contributions..i though it would be a great discussion platform thank You

5 years ago

Bella duPuy(sub female){Not lookin} - Hey there, Sis. Has that situation been resolved (itself)?

4 years ago

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Silver​(sub female){not intere}

Contemplative musings of a sub.

question for discussion!!!!

Silver(sub female){not intere}