The way it is.

The complications and triumphs of a sub living in a Dom’s world

I’ve been in a mood for blogging these past few days. I would like to hear opinions from subs and Doms since I consider myself a novice to this lifestyle. (I’ve had real life experiences, several years ago) but didn’t know there was a title and lifestyle etc, etc. until about a year ago.

my first and only online Dom experience started when I first joined this site. The relationship started quickly and from my novice perspective, it was great. I knew nothing would ever surface from it, as we led very different, very busy lives. But steady contact for about 6 months. I expressed the need for more communication. I won’t give specifics, but I wanted what I consider simple details. As I gave more of myself sexually, which we all know is more than that in a D/s dynamic. I allowed myself to feel vulnerable, open, very trusting of the relationship.

I was never, ever given anything, small details I wanted to know, in return. After a night out with a few friends and a few 🍻 I typed the words “fuck you”( obviously I woke up realizing this was out of order). And I haven’t heard back from him since. Of course I apologized as it was out of line and not my character. Considering this was my very first experience with this and he dubbed himself my “mentor” in the beginning, I felt bad and there was no sense of closure. Turning me off to the lifestyle in general as it is already tough to find a match.

thoughts?

HGB(sub female){Scottish M} - Honestly my first thought is yes not appropriate but how do you never contact back. Maybe get hurt for a day or two but nothing. No that's to extreme. I wish you luck in your quest for someone. Hugs

5 years ago

Lotus(sub female) - Yeah, it was a fun couple of months but onto bigger and better 💕😍🙂

5 years ago

HGB(sub female){Scottish M} - Learning lesson, now on to bigger and better.

5 years ago

Lotus(sub female) - Exactly 😘😘

5 years ago

Thecharmedmuse(switch female){My Wildman} - I agree with HGB. Communication is key. Just think of the bullet you dodged. If he doesn’t meet your needs, you’re better off moving on.

5 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - This makes me really sad..... As a sub and a Woman! If you had constant contact for 6 months and asked for more information and didn't get it? Hell yeah you dodged a bullet there. Do NOT beat yourself up about your "fuck you" response, regardless if it was from drinks or emotions etc. You had EVERY right. What bothers me most is that you apologized and then nothing? That's just wrong... so fucking wrong! Please do not let this make you jaded... There are really good people here and you deserve to have that happiness, you do! If that "someone" said they want to mentor, or are still "active" on the site.? Message me... My inbox as you know, is always open! Big hugs to you and don't give up because of someone who was an asshole! ❤️❤️❤️

5 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Depending on who you listen to I am either a pariah or a moderately talented writer with a foot fetish. Its your call 😂😂😂

In my opinion any Dom who is so thin skinned and weak as to be that put off by what you asked, then later on when you voiced your frustration is a fucking joke. You lucked out by getting away from a "wanna be" and giving yourself the opportunity to find someone who is worth your attention. Piss that idiot, and you can quote me.

I have a existential distrust of any "Dom" who can not handle a bit of adversity, yet expects a sub to be an obedient whipping post.

If you are tougher than your Dom then you need to switch places.

My opinion.

5 years ago

Lotus(sub female) - Well,we are all entitled to our own opinions, based on our on interactions with one another. And no one, no one, is perfect. I don’t consider this person to be a bad person at all whatsoever. To me, it was the level of intimacy I exhibited in attempt to be a sub, as my first experience, going in knowing we’d possibly never meet. But learning and understanding that this is more of a norm than dating elsewhere (online). I am a lot younger and referred to this person as a daddy Dom (my own father passed way several years ago). I’m no victim, so don’t want sympathy, but I am confused to the dynamics involved, apparently. I look to a daddy Dom as a reassuring figure, sexually and emotionally and am FINALLY opening up about it. Shit is complicated, lol.

5 years ago

Lotus(sub female) - Aw, thanks . Ya know, subs are strong. It’s when we, (I) feel wronged or disrespected, I like to let that out. I appreciate you reaching out. 😍😘😍

5 years ago

Lotus(sub female) - *Whoops, this was in response to Morley’s post*

5 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Its all good 😂😂😂

5 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - Girl, I let it all out... Always LOL as we ALL should! All subs and Doms alike. We only stand together when as a community! Again, hate what happened to you, but GREAT post - so important to share ❤️❤️❤️

5 years ago

Madd Hatter(dom male) - As a dom I've learned some of us can be quite fickle and easily turn away from a sub for the smlest of reasons. A lot of dims won't put up with a bratty sub they don't like the challenge in it. If you explained to him you were drunk and he doesn't reply his loss.

Don't let it ruin the experience for you so many people are into it and always looking for new faces. A good dom is like lottery tickets. You have to scratch a lot of losers before finding a winner.

My wife and I have been at it for going on 4 years and if you had questions or wanted to chat were happy to help.

5 years ago

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Lotus​(sub female)

The way it is.

Opinions

Lotus(sub female)