What in the super flower blood moon retrograde is happening?!?
It's times like this that lead me to believe in cosmic forces. When work winds me up, when I spiral out, and when more than one pair of hands tries to come to my aid.
The idea was to lay low and stay quiet and wait for Daddy. The man who has enriched my life through our new dynamic. A man who I've opened myself to in so many ways. A man who lives so far away that it takes time, planning, and genuine desire to get to him. Ours was, from the start, a dynamic based solely on sexuality and exploration. But then we had to go and spoil the fun by using the strongest words to show our respect and admiration.
🦆ing feelings. Why do they have to creep? Why can't my cold little heart wither and shrivel and let my brain just enjoy the ride?
Well, that's where the plan started to sour. When my emotions came into the picture. The cravings for attention and touch became too much. Loneliness crept in and my heart sang its melancholic song loud enough for others to hear. It crept into my work, into my creativity, and into my home. Daddy promised he'd help me through it, and he has, but that hasn't been enough.
I need affection, I want cuddles and kisses and long sighs that raise my head high and let it fall with the collapse of the sternum it's resting on.
And I'm not entirely convinced that vanilla is out of the question. That's the worst part. My mind has wandered and strayed. I've found comfort in coworkers and friends, those who don't know my little self. There's one person I'm thinking of talking to about it all with.
And Daddy knows that I might.
When I told him about it, he cleared up some doubts and answered some questions I had about a polyamorous relationship, but instilled more uncertainty when he talked of presenting me with a collar.
Me. With. A. Collar.
I've got some serious thinking to do. And even more hard conversations to have.
I JUST WANT TO HIDE UNDER A BLANKET AND EAT CHEESE.
Love y'all. Thanks for letting me air it out here 🖤
