I'm not sure why it seems to be such a big deal that Wolfy and I don't partake in rules and punishments. For us, it just... seems highly unnecessary. He's an adult, he can figure out what is needed without threats of punishment. Not to belittle or make fun of those who do use punishments. It just... feels so unnecessary to us.
But apparently that makes me a bad Domme, or him an unruly sub. Its /so/ hard for people to understand that we don't use punishments and rules?
... What?
Okay, so... you could argue that we do have rules. Because there/are/ things he cant do, but they're things /I/ cant do, either, as terms of our relationship. No outside partners, no intentional flirting, letting each other know where we're going and when we will be back... And /technically/ there is a punishment if either of us were to break one of these guidelines, because we would have to face the consequences of our actions. But... I don't have /rules/ for him. I don't punish him when he's bad. Hell, I /like/ when he talks back and acts bratty sometimes and has his own opinions and actions. Makes him more human.
Cause that is what he is... he's human. He is his own person with his own mind and, at the end of the day, I don't /actually/ control him. At any given point he could up and leave or take back his submission and there isn't anything I could /actually/ do about that. But he /chooses/ not to, he chooses to let me lead and to follow my decisions. So in that sense yes, I control him.
But... to punish him like a child because he didnt make me tea in the morning, or because /I/ decided that he was flirting when /he/ was just being nice? That just... doesn't make sense to me. I'll talk to him about it, find out the truth, and if anything needs to change, then make the change. There's no reason to ban him from chat or something because of a misunderstanding. No reason to make him feel guilty. If he actually did something wrong, his "punushment" is living with the consequences. Why make it worse?
I don't care if others think rules and punishments are necessary. Whatever works for you! That's the great thing about this lifestyle, everyone lives it differently and it's beautiful in all styles.
I just don't understand why my relationship needs judgement because we don't do one minor part of it. It wouldn't work for us. We couldn't take it seriously. So leave it be. I don't judge you, don't judge me.
I'm just... tired of my way of dominatuon being judged. I already worry because I'm so new and still have so much to learn... I don't need people trying to make me feel worse because I don't "conform".
