Thoughts

I am a submissive. I am a new submissive. I am also a woman who has been abused, both emotionally and physically. As a submissive, how does one overcome the past? How do I take punishments both physical and mental without getting ptsd? How do I take punishment without telling myself I am worthless?

I enjoy spanking. That is a form of punishment I know is not abuse. But, with my past, with the abuse and the massive amounts neglect, my self-worth issues are glaring. 

Do I find the right dom? What... who is... the right dom for me? How do I overcome the past? Just thoughts and questions I've been asking myself.