Of cause, the obvious thing to do, so I did not think to do it. TV still not working though. I miss it, but I made constructive use of the time by falling asleep on the sofa.
Everything in my flat suddenly seemed to stop working. When I say everything I mean the internet and the TV. There can not be a connection between them surely???? if I do not answer a message or something, it means that I can not get onto the sight.
I wrote this as a Forum topic but desided to put it on here as well.
Life is strange and you just never know, and the answer to my problem might seem obvious to other people but I just can not see it clearly and all advice would be very gratefully excepted. This all happened on a different site, and one on which I do not ask for advice, because a lot of people on there are dicks. I was not going to mention this on here, for a few weeks, because, so the more cynical part of my mind points out, it could be a scam or just not work out. The last time that happened it was embarrassing and unpleasant.
just under a week ago I received a message from a girl who essentially wanted to discuss the possibility of long distance play. She said that she enjoy degradation, so I sent her back a quite degrading message, which is not something that I do naturally, but I found it to be very liberating. She is 21 (I am 57). I will not say to much more about her as I do not, mostly, talk about people, but she seemed very enthusiastic. We exchanged messages and everything seemed to be going well (however, last night I sent what I thought were three very simple tasks, and she has not replied, but that is only a day so maybe I am just being paranoid).
Today I received another message from another girl, the same age and similar circumstances. I sent her a short message (maybe two weeks ago) and her reply was “I’m interested”. (This is the first response that I have had in over a year. Its weird). In short I can not really pick between them until I know more.
I do not lie to people (. . . hardly ever) so, as I see it, I have two choices: 1. Stick with the first and tell the second “sorry” or 2. Ask both how they would feel about a two way arrangement? Let me just add that I would be fine with an open arrangement (and I was actually thinking that the first girl should really be getting some real life sex).
So what does anyone think?
It seems like I wrote a blog called feeling lousy before, although I have no memory of it. Anyway, I am not feeling very well at all. I do not know if it is the humidity or because I slept badly (but then I slept half the afternoon), or because I took three Melatonin tabs (15 MG) last night. I think it is the Melatonin because I felt kind of odd after taking it. I wont do that again. I had planed a fun day of washing up and hoovering but. . . Maybe tomorrow.
Yesterday I killed a spider in the bath. I did not mean to kill it, I was trying to rescue it from drowning, but it kept jumping (do spiders jump?) off the peace of card that I was using to scoop it up, and then I somehow court its leg, or legs, under the card, and then it just died.
I think I used to have that condition, at least I could not touch spiders. I had to ask my flat mate to get them out of the bath and sink. It was quite embarrassing. It is not so bad know, I can even touch the ones with the long legs, they seem more elegant, but why do they like to live in are bath rooms? (Perhaps they like the humidity, but I never see any flies in there). In my previous flat I got loads of spiders in the bath room and I could not bare to move them. Some of them just seemed to hang there, sometimes for weeks on end. I could not see how they stayed alive.
Leaches and cockroaches (and probably some other insects) freak me out, and swans scare me (I think they are much stronger and much more violent than they look). Apart from that I like all animals.
Yesterday I bought six CD'S from my local library. Mostly Bob Dylan: Oh Mercy, Together Through Life, Love and Theft, Modern times. Also Corinne Bailey Rae and Led Zeppelin. They were £1. 50 each. The Dylan is quite good, very bluesy. Corinne Bailey Rae, hmm, not sure if it is for me. (A friend pointed out to me that I do not really like female singers and, apart from a few rhythm and blues singers and Sioxsie and the Banshies, that seems to be true. I have no idea why).
The Led Zeppelin does not seem to have a name. It is the one with the picture of an old man with a load of sticks on his back. I have to be in the right mood to listen to Led Zeppelin, also does anyone ells think that Stair Way to Heaven is just a hole load of ridiculous nonsense?
This is the forth version of this, and I am still not at all happy with it. I always seem to be worried about offending people, so please do not be offended. That was not my intention.
Occasionally I come across people who say that they are have a physical attraction, or even kink, for intelligence. (apparently the word for this is sapiosexual). I have two main questions about this: How do you know if a person is intelligent or not? and are you sure? I originally wrote a much longer essay about why no one really knows who is and is not intelligent. After all intelligent people don’t have bigger or former or tighter body parts. Do they suddenly become more attractive at the point when there IQ is known? I apologise if I seem a little sarcastic, but isn't the point that 1: no one really knows what intelligence is and 2: Even if you did know you still could not see it.
My father was a genius. I did not know that until over forty years after he died. I am still not quite sure what he was a genies at (he studied dead languages, I think he was also very good at maths). He did not seem very intelligent. Actually he seemed a bit slow (which I know realise is possibly a sign of intelligence).
Actually I am quite intelligent. Not Mensa intelligent but clearly above average. (Somewhere there is a certificate that says what my IQ is, but I guess I am not quite intelligent enough to keep it in a place where I could find it).
If you still say that intelligence is attractive, then consider the following (please note that this is only my opinion. It is not from any resource):
In my almost but pre teens I liked the Beatles. As far as I can remember my first records were some old Beatles singles that my mum gave me. Some of them had no centres, you had to balance them on the turntable. I was also a big Bowie fan, and then I started to listen to glitter music. Slade and sweet.
I never really liked punk, except for the first Stranglers album. My favourite bands at that time were Ian Dury and the Blockheads, The Tom Robinson band and the Specials. I have never seen any of them live except: I saw Ian Dury and the Music Students at Glastonbury in 1985. I got in by hiding in a luggage space at the bottom of someones van. I also saw the blockheads at a festival (2008 I think, I forget the name of the festival). Dury was kind of a hero to me until I read his biography. Turns out he was something of a bastard. Still like his music though.
Most recently I have been listening to the Specials and some Blue Grass, and Woody Guthrie (he is kind of an acquired taste).
My six favourite albums ever, in no particular order:
Bowie: Space Odyssey
Bowie: Ziggie Stardust
Ian Dury and the Blockheads: New Boots and Panties.
Paul Simon: Grace Land
The Beatles: Sargent Pepper
Sleep well (unless you are reeding in the morning, in which case stay awake).
Sleep, as all ways, plays tricks on me. For weeks I am awake until its light. then, sometime between six and eleven (seriously) I just crash until about three or four in the afternoon. People say stay awake all day and you'll sleep well the next night. For one thing not necessarily true, but in any case I do not go to sleep on these accessions, mostly I crash. To day I slept solidly from about two to seven AM. Five hours. It was bliss, but why only five? Why not six or seven or, god forbid, the hole eight.
Most of the blogs on here are strange. Very row, hurt, angry. There are no blogs about buying new shoes or how to make things out of other things, or what words really mean. Every one has made every one ells angry, or is it just one person going around upsetting everyone?
Does the internet make human nature worse? I don't know but I kind of think it dose.
My usual habit is to look on Fetlife after I have looked on here. I have come to see it as a space where really nothing happens. People insult each other so much that it does not mean anything, and no one is really looking for anyone ells any more. Half of them block or close there accounts ten minutes after posting an advert.
I am going back to bed for a bit. I do not know if I will sleep or not.
Feeling lousy! I think I slept for most of the day, but I still feel like I have not slept at all. watched TV. I could hardly make the walk to the shop. Then, well then is now. I think it might be wheat. I will try to cut it out for a while. The thing is I love wheat, its the best thing in the world. Not good. :(