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Accessional diary of a dyslexic dom.

Any old nonsence that comes into my head.
4 years ago. April 1, 2020 at 1:30 PM

I did not write this, but it is quite funny.

 

With apologies to Dr. Seuss:

 

I do not like this quarantine

I do not like this quiet scene

It seems so very harsh and mean

To have to keep this quarantine

Can I go out to the park?

Can I go out after dark?

No you can't go to the park

No you can't go after dark

Can I go out to the gym?

Can I work out to get slim?

No you mustn't be so dim

Of course you can't go to the gym!

Nor can you go out to the park

Even if it's after dark

Can't I just go out to eat?

Or to buy an ice cream treat?

No you can't go out to eat

Nor to by an ice cream treat

And you can't go to the gym

Not to bulk up or to slim

No you can't go to the park

Even if it's after dark

Even if it's harsh and mean

You have to stay in quarantine!

I can't! I can't! I'll lose my mind!

No walks or trips of any kind?

No walks or trips of any kind

No great loss if you lose your mind

So even if you kick and scream

You have to stay in quarantine!

Why must I follow this dumb rule

It seems ridiculous and cruel

it seems so very harsh and mean

To be stuck in this quarantine!

We're doing this to stop the spread

So no more people end up dead

This will protect the elderly

By acting extra cautiously

If we all do our part, and fast!

All this will soon be in the past

So please stop making such a scene

And just stick to the quarantine!

Ok I think I get it now

We must save lives and this is how

We can't go out with friends to eat

Or to a picnic or retreat

We cannot go out to the gym

(Who'll even see if we are slim?!)

We cannot go out to the park

Even if it's after dark

We cannot go out here and there

We should not go out anywhere

I'm sorry for the nudge I've been

I'm gonna stay in quarantine!

4 years ago. March 14, 2020 at 4:21 PM

So I don't talk to many people, other than on this site. about my BDSM life style. My family would not like or understand it. My mother is 90, I would not want her to dye thinking of me as. . . Whatever she might think. It is just ease to keep it to my self, and I think I am allowed to make that choice. It is also true that, when I talk about this stuff, I all ways feel the need to justify my self. So my slave asked me if I ever tell anyone about her and I only realised then that I really haven't. So I said I would write a blog about her, and she seemed quite pleased.

 

So, like I said I all ways feel that I have to justify myself, so I'll just add that she asked me to train her as a slave. I do not really know what I am doing, but I give her tasks and I think that she does very well at all of them, but she seems to be resistant to the "harder" stuff. But then she is very new to the BDSM world and she has only been trained by me, and I am not an expert so. But don't get the wrong idea. I am not really worried and I think that it will all work out.

 

She lives in Ghana (I live in the uk) and we have problems because her English is not too good. Up to know we have not even been able to video chat, I was going to send her a mobile phone (and some rope and lubricant) but it was too expensive. So I plan to send cash, but even that seems to be difficult. But she does most things that I ask her to, and she is quite extrordenerely beautiful (and young) so I do wonder what she wants with a fat old fossil like me, but she does seem to be very genuine in her feelings for me. I am not used to it and I suppose I still do not quite believe in it.(I will call her A or slave A for the moment) if you reed this I do not mean that I do not believe you. I guess I just mean that it feels strange to me. We have both used the L word, and then I was worried. Should one say I love you to someone that you have not even met and have only three photos off?

 

Bicentennial man, just finished on TV, and I have laundry to do. I have probably put summating stupid in here, but I will write a retraction, or an update, or a re right later on. That will do for now. Thanks for reading.

 

OW PS: As she can not get proper lubricant she uses something called (I think this is right) pomade (and spit). I have no idea what this is. So far it seems to be harmless but does anyone know what it is, or can come up with a better compromise? Thanks.

4 years ago. March 11, 2020 at 9:15 PM

A lot of angry blogs today. Is something going on?

 

The last few days have been strange: Mostly at night I am unable to sleep. Mostly I sleep from about 6. 00 AM to 1. 00 PM. Then some days, like today, I fall back to sleep on the Sofer. Then of cause I can not sleep again. Hardly anyone phones, no one comes around. Yesterday I talked to my sister on the phone. I exchange E mails with my long distance slave (more about her in a future blog). For the moment even she has deserted me (maybe I gave her too many tasks all at once). My computer class ended. I have not been to meditation, or yoga, because I was too tired. I am used to being alone, but all the same this feels strange.

 

It is 9. 00 PM and I have only eaten some fruit and some chocolate. I will probably start to feel hungry in about half an hour and will maybe order a curry. All I have in the house is fish fingers (I think you call them fish sticks). I try to eat at an ordinary time but it is hard when I am just not hungry.

 

I have many things to do, but today and yesterday I just felt too tired. I badly need to hoover and to clean the kitchen (all right, to clean everywhere. I should really make my slave do it, but that is one of the down sides of a long distance relationship). I have however managed a short work each day. There are not many short works here. Plenty of long ones and I would like a long walk, but not until I feel a bit better.

4 years ago. March 2, 2020 at 9:14 PM

I am so English that today I almost said thank you to a cash machine.

 

I might not be writing blogs on here in the future, but I could not resist sharing that.

4 years ago. February 25, 2020 at 1:08 AM

So this is part one of my short story. I do not know if it is finished, I mean it is finished in terms of having a beginning, a middle and an end, but I  suppose I just mean is it good enough? All comments are welcome and I do need to know if it is no good, but be nice please.

 

I have chosen the pen name Samantha Pane for the moment, but it is not written in stone or anything. I will be posting it in three parts over this week (Unless the response is really negative, in which case I might chicken out)

 

Enjoy;

 

 

Amy and the boys part one. An erotic story by Samantha pane.   

 

 

 

   Amy is not a cougar. She is the right age to be a cougar and the boys are the right age to be prayed on by a cougar. but Amy is not a cougar. A cougar is a predatory older women, where as Amy is certainly not predatory. Indeed she is deeply submissive and a submissive can not also be predatory (or so she thinks). Indeed Amy is almost a slave. She is not a slave, or ells she is only a weekend slave. Indeed Amy’s sessions with the boys are limited to less than forty weekends a year and even then are controlled by a set of rules. She has been a toy, a play thing, a pet a fuck slut, a pain slut and a domestic slut all rolled into one. However that she is not a slave is partly a quirk of circumstances. Amy works as a school administrator, she has three children, two grown up the youngest a teenage student who still mostly comes home on school holidays, and she has a cluster of nosy neighbours. The neighbours she would willingly give up. She is taking early retirement in about a year and a half and worries that a scandal might effect her pension, although why should it? No, the real worry is that her children will discover her secret second life. She is curtain that they do not know anything about her other life, and it must stay that way. It is bad enough for any child or of spring to discover that its parents still enjoy sex, or indeed still have it, but to find that your widowed mother lives a second life as a sex slave would be too much for them. 

   In short Amy can not become a slave, or only a part time one, because of the need to keep her private life private, and because her would be owners mostly still live with their parents.

   “Amy, you coming love”, the would be owners were getting inpatient.

   Amy is in J’s (short for Jason) bath room. It is not a bad bath room but it is clearly the bath room of a young single mail. There are signs of both disorder and damp, and unwashed laundry is piled in such a way as to almost, but not quite, block the door. The room smells of exactly these things; laundry and damp, with just a hint of Amy’s perfume. Amy is perched on the edge of the bath. She is wearing the classic trio of black underwear, bra, knickers and stockings along with equally black kitten heals. The knickers are around her ankles as she is trying to brush glitter into her little triangle of light auburn pubic hair. The glitter is supposed to stick but it refuses to do its job.  

   “Aim, we’re waiting.” 

   “Three erections out here. Won’t stay that way for ever”.

   “Get the hell out here!”

   Amy pulls up her knickers, causing a tiny cloud of glitter. The term yoyo knickers has never seemed more appropriate and she wonders exactly why she wears knickers at all during her sessions with the boys. In a state of anticipation and some fear (it would be no good without a little fear) She heads for the bathroom door.

 


Rule 1: No one is to visit or acknowledge knowing Amy when she is with her family, friends or associates, or at any time when a session has not been arranged.

 


   Amy is five foot one and a half inches tall with light auburn hair that curls at the ends when she lets it grow. She is slim, bordering on skinny with small but perfectly spherical breasts and buttocks that you could still bounce a coin of (although it might not bounce as high as it once had). In short she is a twenty to twenty four year old boys almost perfect wet dream. The boys are all just over six foot except for Peter, who is five ten, and Terry, who is six foot seven inches (there is a running gag that Amy could give Terry a blow job without having to kneel or bend down). They are all fit, muscular, undisciplined, enthusiastic and big. 

   For a single mail living alone, J is usually quite tidy. However on session nights beer, cigarette ash and carelessness tend to become more acceptable. As Amy approaches the living room she can all ready see several empty lager cans and an overflowing ash tray. She smells the intoxicating liquid and the acrid smoke. both of These items are occasionally used, on Amy, as objects of degradation. Worm sticky bear is sometimes pored into her hair or onto her face, and the ash and cigarette ends sometimes follow. In the second part of the evening Amy will kneel, in partially mock and partially genuine submission, in front of the boys. As often as not this part of the session includes the splashing of beer in her hair.  

   As Amy enters the room, several strong arms take hold of her and lead her to a clear area in the middle of the room.   

   It is normal, of cause, on an evening with the boys, for Amy to be elevated into a kind of erotic stupor and when, at some point later, she notices that she is no longer wearing her stockings, she invariably finds that she has no memory of taking them off. The knickers and bra are removed almost immediately or, at least, got out of the way. Amy is helped to her knees. Nothing has yet been eased, or forced, into her mouth, but something that both buzzes and vibrates is being slipped between her legs and her knickers are already somewhere between her knees and her ankles. The bra, she thinks, is still in place. However two hands reach down and ease her breasts out of their cups, like two perfectly formed scoops of vanilla ice cream, and She thinks that she has already mislaid one of her shoes.

   Present for tonights session is J (as always, he is the only one who has his own flat) Peter and Eddy. J she guesses, is inserting the buzzing thing. The second, perhaps Eddy, is standing in front of her. The very tip of his erect member is now gently rubbing against her face. She takes, at first, just the tip, between her lips and plays with it using her tong. The third boy, Peter, is the reason that Amy can not see very much of what is going on around her. He has one hand berried in her hair and is pulling her head back. A hand fondles one of her nipples and another is on her behind. A fifth hand is gently massaging her throat. The massaging of the throat might seem like a thoughtful and considerate gesture, but Amy has come to see it more as a kind of teasing, or even bullying. “Something big is coming” it seems to say, “and it is not asking for permission”.

 


   Butt, boob, hair, throat and buzzy thing. For a bit there seems to be a hand missing. Soon however it appears, at the back of her head and whirl the thing is buzzing insider her, creating a worm, sticky, wetness, and a gentle smell of her own body fluids, at the upper end a large erectile is eased into her mouth and then into her wind pipe. The phallus in her throat moves slowly, and then faster, insider her head. Then it is removed coupled with a big intake of breath. The boys are giggling (she probably does look quite funny), she waits. they teas her by making her wait. Then A finger is hooked into the left corner of her mouth. She allows her head to be manoeuvred to the left and another projectile is pushed between her lips. 

   After that another and another, so that Amy could be forgiven for thinking that she was dealing with a number much in exes of three. At regular intervals someone digs his finger nails, painfully, into her breast, or twists her ear lobe, and once she is punched, quite hard, from behind, in here right kidney. From prier experience she knows that, when it is J’s turn to use her, he will become very unobservant, and Peter will take the opportunity to torture her in many subtle and secret ways. The ear lobe, and the breasts are favourite areas for Peters own brand of cruelty. Eddy will probably not join Peter, but will not try to stop him either.  Amy was trained as a pain slut by her husband before the berth of their first daughter (they had two girls and a boy). In any case she had learnt not to flinch when subjected to pain. Of cause she also know, when it was necessary, to breath through her nose. Yet she still never seemed to get as much oxogen as she needed. Also in all the excitement she sometimes forgets to breath altogether. The sensation is, of cause, one of choking, but is also not all that different to orgasming, and sometimes she is confused by the distinction. Sometimes indeed both can happen at the same time. On other accessions, just before the hot fingers of unconsciousness reach her she realises that she is choking, not orgasming at all. 

  she is allowed a break. Not a long one, seconds only. She falls forward, onto all fours, choking and with icy cold spittle running down her chin. Then she is helped onto her feet and lead to J’s couch. 

 


   Amy discovered oral sex at the age of nineteen and deep throating by twenty two. like many women she had set out to master all of the aspects of oral sex and was proud of the extent to which she had succeeded. However Amy is no longer young and there is only one of her, or, in a kind of mathematical sense, two (In what way is there two Amy’s? we will come back to this question). Where as there is three of the boys, and they are young, and big. There had, at one time, been eight boys and at first Amy had attempted to satisfy all of them in the same session. Two had dropped out. Liam got married and Ben moved somewhere up south. The remaining six know come in groups of free. J, attends all the sessions (because he is the only one who has his own flat) but also because he is Amy’s lover, boyfriend, partner, owner, master? she sleeps in his bed and spends time alone with him, which she hardly ever does with the other boys. In another way however he is nun of these things, and in another way he is there to protect her from a situation that could otherwise easily get out of control. The other five join Amy and Jay on a rotor bases, with the result that the combination is constantly different over a five weak rotation. 

 


   Amy is lead to the couch where she sinks down into the, all fours, squatting posture sometimes referred to as the doggy position. In this position Amy can be regarded as two Amy’s, one at the front and another at the back. Very seldom is there three Amy’s. There could be but there isn’t. Rule number 6 states No annul except on birthdays and special accessions and on birthdays, only for the birthday boy. Amy has found that, once weekly, annul sex is a bit much for her these days. She rather suspects that some of the boys have, up to, three birthdays a year, but at least it is less than it might otherwise be.

   So here is where the maths comes in because, with two Amy’s and three boys, one is all ways waiting for a turn. Each of the boys, one at the front and a second behind must take it in turns to give up their positions to the third, and it can sometimes seem to Amy that there are large numbers of boys circling and using her. As this goes on opportunities for Amy to take a proper breath are few and far between, as there must all ways be a minimum of two Amy’s   

   It should not be supposed however that the boys were not creative or imaginative. The doggy position might be the most convenient but variety is the spice of the average gang bang and Amy is turned on to her back her front and her side. She is bounced playfully on a lap, or balanced most of her weight on her shoulders whirl her legs almost reach the flow behind her head. As well as a dog she is a crab, a butterfly, and a variety of cow girls. Always the boys take turns in her mouth and throat. Even in the missionary position, or lying flat on her stomach, the two members find their mark. One between her legs and a second between her lips, whirl a third waits for his turn.

   Amy has been the slave of the boys for about a year and a half. She still finds the sessions to be thrilling, exciting, euphoric, exhausting, painful and often terrifying. As the boys pound on and insert themselves into her diminutive body she does her best to reciprocate, to join in. Yet she feels her self used and helpless, almost a victim, and then she will feel her self to be far away and disconnected from her physical body. Large quantities of time would seem to be missing or lost.

 


“Hang on guys” a voice said. It was Eddy and she was released. She was lying on her back on the flow in the position known as the butterfly position (with her legs lifted upwards, towards her chest, and outwards to both sides). She was helped up into a kneeling position and told to open her mouth as wide as posable. She did as she was told, keeping very still, and after a minute or so she felt a deluge of globular fluid fill her mouth and throat. As she had been told to do, she trapped eddy’s seaman in her throat and did not swallow until she was told to do so.

   “Lye back on your back honey” said J. she did so and was soon rewarded with a veneer of surprisingly hot sticky fluid. 

 


It is some short time later and Amy is back in the bathroom. She is clean, at least for the moment, her hare is clean and she is wearing a lite cent. She is also bent double over the side of the bath with her head, arms and hands in the bath. Her hands are pressed against the cold wet porcelain, her legs are pushed apart and her behind is high in the air. Standing behind her, Peter is nonchalantly breaking rule number six. Amy does not mind the breaking of a rule, however she does like a good quality lubricant for the braking of this particular rule, rather than toothpaste, which is what Peter is using, but she does not complain.

 


 after the end of, what is sometimes referred to as, round one J went for a shower Amy had gone as if to follow him but Peter held her back by her hair. Coming back into the room (after his shower) Eddy looked quizzical at the two of them. “She needs a shower” he said.

   “I know” said Peter.

   “Well I ain’t touching her until she's cleaned up a bit. No offence Ams”. Amy smiled in response. In fact Eddy’s member was already standing to attention.

   “Its too crowded in that shower, with four of us” said peter by way of explanation, but both Amy and Eddy know that Peter was up to something and that it was something not very nice. 

   Eddy lit a cigarette and Amy and Peter waited until they herd the bathroom door, and then j’s bed room door creek open. Then peter led her to the shower which J had not bothered to turn off.

   At first Peter was quite gentle, even affectionate. Holding and turning her as he lathered her in soap suds, and washing her hair. She was allowed to put her arms around his neck, and her chest and lips were pressed up against his. Then, pressing his worm lips against her ear he whispered “Turn around and bend forward”. She guessed what was coming but did as she was told.

   Both soon found that they could not keep there balance in the bath and Peter manoeuvred her into the position that she was now in. Peter was a big lad and Amy felt her self stretched open, as she always did with annul sex. Then a banging came on the door (that Peter had locked). Peter cursed, pulled Amy back into an upright position and spun her around so that they were face to face, but this time there was little sign of affection. “Are secret, you understand!”

   “Yes Peter, I promis”.

   “Good, and when we get out there you get my cock in your mouth, as soon as posable, whirl it still tastes of you, got it”? 

   “OK. . . but Peter”.

   “What?”

   “Theres toothpaste all down the backs of my legs”.

   “Ow yer, well. . . Get back in the shower then, I’ll tell them you’r coming. Be quick.”

 


   More and more, as he got bolder and increasingly belligerent, these exchanges with Peter gave Amy an extra thrill. It should not be thought that she was dominated or intimidated by him. A sharp knee to the groin would soon have put him back in his place, or she could just get dressed and go home at any point that she wanted. Yet she realised, more and more that she wanted to be the one who was put in her place. Or to pretend to be, to be a slave, a toy, a play thing, a slut, to be subject to the boys whims no matter how cruel. Indeed, she thought sometimes, the crueler the better.

   She also realised that she was becoming disinterested in J. J tried to protect her, when she wanted the very thing that he protected her from. He tried to bring order and rule, where she wanted chaos and pain. This would caused problems however. If she broke off being Js lover or property, would the sessions with the boys have to end all together? No one wanted that.

4 years ago. February 19, 2020 at 2:12 AM

I am going to post my short story. I have made my mind up, I am just going to proof read it through one more time, then I am going to post it on here, I think, in three parts. I am terrified, please be nice, but at the same time, if it is no good, I need to know that. So be honest, and nice?? Coming soon, watch this space.

4 years ago. February 18, 2020 at 12:20 AM

Wiltshire (uk) is flooded: It has been raining so much here that I genuinely did go out and tried to build an ark (I know I'v used that joke before, and by genuinely I mean whatever the exact opposite is). Today I took a bus into Bath (the nearest city to me). On the way there is all ways some amazing views, but today farms, peoples back gardens and playing fields were flooded. There were literally what looked like lakes where there had been fields, and I think it is still raining. It has got the better of me. I do not even like to leave the flat at the moment.

 

I think it was on here someone put up an image that said "some people feel the rain. Others just get wet". Well, I am one of those that just gets wet. I mean, I don't mind feeling the rain as long as I can do it indoors, in front of the fire. 

4 years ago. February 16, 2020 at 8:52 PM

So I had made my mind up to pack this in, the search for a sub, slut, lover, FB. I had had enough (it is not me that is suppose to be being humiliated). Then there was a girl (on a different site). She was just so. . . Nice. She seemed to really like me. Then, a bit like the others, she disappeared. She didn't ghost me, she closed her profile. She just might come back, but I dought it. She was nice but I am not sure if she was a genuine sub. I asked several times and she said it was what she wanted.

 

I do not know why that encouraged me to give it a bit longer. If anything it should have discouraged me. In any case I am giving it a bit longer. But not for ever. Six months at the most, thats August. Or maybe I will give it until my birthday (in September). 

 

After that I will focus on collecting stamps, or I will get a pet gold fish.

4 years ago. February 15, 2020 at 4:25 PM

Hope you don't mind me asking: is anyone ells on Google Hangouts, who could send me a message. Something weird is happening and I just want to see if the problem is with me.

 

Proper blog soon, promise.

4 years ago. February 13, 2020 at 4:20 PM

There were two spiders in my bathroom. They were the kind that just make a web and then just hang there doing nothing, but then one of them disappeared (how do they do that?) so it obviously did something. I am quite pleased. I have lived here for almost four years and never had spiders in my bathroom before.