Vulnerability is a trait that many struggle with. At one time, I struggled with it myself and there are moments throughout my life where I continue to. But without being vulnerable, we can't have the opportunity to form real, meaningful, and lasting relationships, right?... Yes... That's right.
Vulnerability means consciously CHOOSING to NOT hide who you are... To NOT hide your emotions / desires from others. Why do we sometimes choose to hide these things? Because we're insecure. Because we are afraid of being judged. Because we think people won't like us. Because we think we aren't good enough. For a number of reasons, sometimes more than one. Sometimes just one big reason. Vulnerability puts us in a spot where we can be rejected. Who wants to be rejected? No one... That I know of. I certainly don't like it. But I have learned that not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to appreciate the way I view things, my desires... My thoughts... But the thing is, the people who are meant to be in my life will.
Sometimes you have to admit you aren't good at something in order to be vulnerable. We all aren't good at everything. We all have weaknesses. That's part of being a human. If you're a Dom, a sub..., a switch. I don't care who you are... Sorry, the reality is...you're not perfect. And you can say you aren't, but when it comes down to it, are you willing to admit you make mistakes? Are you willing to admit you are not good at some things? It's not an easy thing to do. But if you're able to, you put yourself in a place where you are more vulnerable and showing who you really are, that you aren't perfect. And that's ok friends.
Taking responsibility for your actions also makes you vulnerable. Don't put things on other people when you have made a mistake. Again, we are none perfect... Take responsibility, own up to it. It will make you a stronger person, people will respect you for it. Taking that responsibility puts you in CONTROL of coming up with a solution to make things right. Take responsibility, own it, and work on fixing it. Then move on!
Being vulnerable also means telling someone if they hurt you. This certainly is not an easy thing to do if you think the other person is going to take it wrong. If they take it wrong, they don't give a shit about your feelings.... So think about that. Express your feelings... Tell people in relationships your in if they hurt you. Talk about it, work through it. If they aren't willing, they aren't worth your time,... Let them go!
Vulnerability also means telling someone you have feelings for them. This can mean feelings of respect, appreciation, love... If you are vulnerable, you can be open to telling others how you feel about them. If you fell someone how you feel about them, you put yourself in a position where your feelings might not match theirs. If they don't... That's ok! You have said how you feel and there's nothing wrong with that. They don't have to match your feelings, but they should respect you telling them how you feel or they really don't care about you.. Right?
Being vulnerable is powerful. Training yourself to be comfortable with who you are and showing others that comfort level isn't easy. But once you've mastered it, you have a Power and confidence within you. You are able to express yourself honestly. Opening yourself up to the world and showing who YOU are can be risky, but you'll find new depth in your relationships and you will refuse to be anything or anyone else than who YOU really are. This is so powerful!
Being vulnerable is something I am working on, and have been for a couple of years now. Much progress has been made. And I continue to work on it. It's not easy at all! But each time I feel myself becoming vulnerable in a situation, I feel stronger. I challenge you all in the cage to be more vulnerable. Open yourselves up, show who you are to the world, because who YOU are and all that YOU are is beautiful. Be proud.
Have a wonderful day cage friends
-Ds