Wise thoughts

Though it bothers some, being serious all the time is a drag. You gotta laugh, you gotta let loose, you gotta be zany. 

Recently my wife and I had a serious conversation, all part of the young married couple Sunday school class we are taking. 

She mentioned that it wasn’t that I was undesirable, but that she is exausted after work/school/watching little dude. I totally get that, but when she said that I decided to lift my shirt and display my “desireable” gut. Oh we had a good laugh. 

I don’t know why I had to share that, it’s just what I enjoy doing. 

baby girl was doing well, and I was trying to improve her experience with her life partner. But this one burnt up swiftly once I pulled play from the relationship, she also decieved me. 

I dont take take kindly to that. 

I gave her exit review this morning, she was a very selfish person. She was being disrespectful of her husbands wishes, she just jumped head long into a bdsm meet and greet. Not that I don’t think it’s a good idea, but with me telling her to bring him along too I got a looooot of push back. 

If he is supporting of the lifestyle why not involve him? Why does it have to be sans hubby? It was a big red flag for me. 

She also went out and bought a pair of panties for me that said “Daddy’s little slut” when I told her that she could not call me Daddy till I said so. Also I never want to think of my little girl or submissive as my slut. 

Im just aghast at this situation, she seemed very down to earth but my god being asked by her for a Dick pic, threw me for a loop. We were quite literally talking for two days and she was pushing that? 

Ugh , I’m feeling very disrespected, my process will be more delving going forward. 

Trying hard not to be jaded. It’s difficult with what I have been presented. 

Welp, I found someone that is very green...very talkative, very interested , very fun. Off the site. 

Guess that how it goes, however , things are going well so far. I invited her to join a community, she asked questions, those she talked to asked me Questions through her. Supposedly need more Doms like me in the community. 

Who would have thought? 

Ya know...BDSM isn't all about the play. Being submissive doesn't mean you just do whatever I want you to. 

Communication is more attractive than you saying you'll fit into my kink. Being honest is more important than sending nudes to me (honestly that was a test, since you seemed to say heeeeeey you are making this easy...I made it hard on purpose to find your limits.)

Also, don't tell me "I'm not one to ghost someone" then just strait up and ghost me. I'm not stupid, once play stopped you became scarce. You seemed to constantly want to play, and I have work...family....friends...a life. This is why boundaries are established, and perhaps i didn't make it clear. 

I'm not writing this directly to her, but if she sees it all the better. 

For those getting a message from an individual stating that they agree with everything you say...when in doubt its hardly ever true especially if they are brand spanking new to the scene. 

I am growing tired of people kissing my ass in hopes I'll just instantly dom them or put them in their place. 

I'm not going to play with anyone till there is an established mutual set of interests. I am growing very skeptical of any private messages I receive outside of the general conversation. 

Ghosting anyone for any reason is a crappy thing to do. 

For those wondering I sent three messages while she was unavailable, one was good morning (since it was well past her goodmorning time). The other was "Is there anything that changed on your end?" The last was "Are you trying to push my buttons?" And I just left it at that. Good thing that was just a friendship and nothing more. 

I will not give up, That was just a shitty person that only wanted to play games.

my new friend and I, who shall be known as kitten hence forth, are really hitting it off. 

She is okay with being friends, as with most relationships that is where it starts. We have really good ideas for the future and we seem to be into a lot of the same stuff. 

Also, she isn’t young and undiced/unsure. This is going very well. She has started playing a game with me, of course she just started she could get sick of it since it has some grind in it. Then we discussed watching movies/anime together, and other such things.

we also talked how She sees submission, and what it means to be a sub. She’s a very smart gal, and she even though mostly book smart she knows her stuff. 

This is exciting! 

See you later, and thanks for all the fish. 

woo Freedom! 

Probably see a lot more of me folks.

also also , made a new friend.

also also ps: short blog is short. 

Stay classy San Diego. 

So....I've had my few share of bites, some leading to wonderful conversations...others leading to a bit more and a bit less. 

I'ts important to understand i don't need some grand act, I don't need the whole "I think I'm what you are looking for" which I've gotten like.....five times since I've been here. How do you know exactly what I'm looking for? We havn't even talked. I have words on a profile and your first comment is "Here I am , daddy, what you've been looking for." No, and no thank you. 

Here is the point of this post: 

Don't come at me with expectations that because you are a gorgeous bomb of a gal that you think I'll just be like "Step into my office." Come to me with genuine connection or...conversation. Let's get to know each other, only then will we know if "you" really are what "I'"m looking for. I think this sums it up quite nicely. 

im missing the whole dynamic, the desire is tugging at me to jump into something , yet I know I need to take it at a good and healthy pace. 

Ya know, my thoughts have been upon doe, and all that I had done. I miss her and wish her well, but the question is did I even get to know her? 

Was she ever truly genuine? I need to stop trusting so easily. As someone once said to me, coincidently it was her, trust is earned and isn’t just handed out. 

I’m never gonna give up,   cause I’m stubborn. I know someone is out there, every time I make a mistake I learn, every time I choose the wrong person I mature. 

I come out better each time, I hope that I won’t choose poorly upon my next. 

Work has mandatory Overtime till who knows when. Working 10 hours over is a real kick to the nuts. 

I worked 7-7, with a lunch, to make it so that i didn't have to care about doing OT on saturday. Ultimately cause of family vacation.

My mother is still annoying, son is still cute, wife is still ditzy, granny is still a sweetheart. Was a hot and wet (and intrinsically humid) weekend in PA. 

My wife 'demanded' something of me, not to say i wasn't being lazy....but demanding anything of me is a sure fire way to make me a big mean grump. You ask nicely, sure i'll do it. 

I'm glad I have off today, i need to wind down. Work has been crazy...crazy bunch of rumors, crazy bunch of drama. Management had to call a meeting to solve peoples discontentment with 5S standardization. Ol' Teken decided to speak up and mentioned "I can't get my work done if my keyboard is in the middle of my desk, i have no room." And, this caused Andy to speak up and say "Okay...not everything needs to be the same...make it your own, but don't personalize it so its a wall of pictures."

I digress, a lot of negativity going around that place...the ones that do their job (slated 11+ hours of work in a day) seem to have good spirits. But ultimately the ones in the top will stagnate cause its just work for the sake of work. No reward in sight. I frequently get 11 hours of work in a 8 hour work day.  I'm just cool like that, i guess. 

I do hope i get to be a manager one day, assistant to the regional manager only makes me yearn for more. 

Keep positive, stay positive and be positive. Thats what i'm going to do even while the shit hits the fan over the course of these months. 

Seven years I’ve been married. Impressive to say the least...seems like it’s only been one or two. 

Wonderful steak tonight, wagyu beef...bbq chips, hard apple cider. Peanut butter pie! I thought I could die happy after this steak, then I recanted for two reasons: I want to try sea urchin, and I want a submissive and to be a bit deeper in the lifestyle...in time perhaps all those will come to pass.

but for now, overtime at work...lots of family stuff during summer. 

Wife wants to go to Cali for her friends wedding. She was supposed to go with three people, buuut all three backed out for financial burden reasons. My wife still wants to go...even if it’s by herself . It’s going to cost her 1200 dollars for just the car rental and the hotel stay...

My mentor wants me to make it work, I can’t. It’s difficult...if not impossible to not worry about her being off by her own. Also, my wife is stubborn..she knows I don’t want her to go. But she still wants to go cause she is thinking of her friend instead of our family. 

Everyone else says she shouldn’t go, but her parents are influencing her to go. I’m a bit upset, but we will make it through this. Just know 2400 dollar trip to Cali by yourself...Let’s compromise....