Adventures with one's soul

Those simple one words...

"Kneel"

"Stand"

"Open"

"Crawl"

"Deeper"

"Harder"

"Faster"

"Waterfall"

"Exploring"

"Come"

"Now"...

How simple yet so powerful

Slightly more but still yet so simple just two little words...

"Good Girl"

" Face down"

"Ass up"

"Show me"

"Yes Sir"

"All mine"

"Only yours"

"Please, Sir"

"Cum now"

"Don't move"

"Take it"

"Lay down"

"Turn over"

"Watch me"

"Touch me"

"Kiss me"

"Claim me"

"You're mine"

"Its yours"

How wonderful it is to enjoy the simple things.

About to see Hamilton!!

I am currently reading a book in which the question has been asked "Do you think there is such a thing as the 'perfect sub'?"

This is a question that made me stop and ask myself. Of course I want to be the perfect sub, I thought to myself, but then I had to look at it in a broader sense. 

There is no way that I could be a 'perfect sub'. There are so many kinks and ones that I am not sure I would ever want to do, so hence I would not be considered that person's perfect sub.

Then the same answer I can up with was written in the book. "I think it is possible to be the perfect sub for one person...Maybe even more than one person. However, it's impossible to be everything to everyone and still be true to yourself."

I think all to often our submissive part wants to please so deeply because it fulfills that deep engrained part of us that we do it at the expense of our true selves, which in turn does the opposite of what we wish to achieve because than we are not our true selves. 

I believe that it's ok to recognize that we don't have to be that 'perfect sub' and that it's ok to only be the perfect sub for ourselves first and then the Dom we fit and that would be a better gift to him.

Anyone else have thoughts on this? I do know that I am still a novice at this, so I admit that I am still learning and still have molding left to be done. That is why I honestly ask the opinion of others.

Just another random thought

I am so trying not to eat all the cookie batter before actually getting the cookies baked.

I just feel like this says so much.

 As stated yesterday these are some things that i wrote back in the 90s some of them may be a trigger to some as they can be kinda dark, but what a great reminder of where I was and how far I have come..

  The talks we had late at night intrigued my soul. They lasted for hours yet never seemed dragged out. The topics consisted of those that were tabo to my family, but ignited a flame inside me that burned and the intensity kept increasing with each interaction.

Sept 21 1994

  Contemplating deeply what she has done, her mind shifts from the torturous reality to her ever prevailing fantasy that leads to her utmost indescribable desires that secretly kept her driving to live life each day to the fullest. That maybe one day she could reach a point where her fantasy would pierce her reality.

Oct 1994

  Things change your were warned you knew things don't stay forever. So why when it happens do you drown in your sorrows. 

 Darkness makes her home, but hatred is the invader. The preference for darkness does not make her evil, just means that she loves more than the coward who stays in the light

Nov 2 1994

  Dreams so vivid and thoughts so clear. I don't know why or how I just hope they are real.

 A delicate pedal that should never be picked. Maybe not seen as important, but the bases for another. If you pick that pedal I too fall for you are a part of my base.

So here are a random collection of things that i had written back in the 90s. I will warn that some of them are dark and could trigger, but I am still going to share them because it was a part of me at that time. It is amazing how sometimes we get so wrapped up in what is going on now that we forget all that we have gone through and over came..

March 17 1995

  As night falls and the crimson colors arise from their cavern to paint the sky, a young woman struck by infatuation sits by the waters edged unknowingly drifting off into her own fantasy. The sweet smell of nature in the air reminede her of the first time their eyes met. That was a day if unbalance as the sky was bright with sun's presence, but the air was full of rain. She was not excpecting any company therefore she did not care if her womanly apperance was altered by her child like essence. Feeling refreshed by the falling rain, she danced aroundallowing her hair to fall carelesslu among her shoulders and her makeup run down her face with each drop of rain that kissed her face.

Feb 21 1995

 Their bodies laid not intertwined but definetly together. The rhythm that was set brought then to the point were reality began to set in. The darkness invaded her heart as the thought of her fantasy disappered for there was no love present that could be defined, and her dream of love, passion, and togetherness slowly faded.

 She doesn't understand why something that she wanted so bad, waited all her life for and held so dear just let it fade away. There was some kind of comfort that he gave her, some sort of feeling that allowed her to give up almost all that she stood for. She just wants to please him. He realizes it, he stops and she hadn't lost her dream only heightened it. She won't let go, not until she is ready.

If spelling is incorrect I do apologize.

Ok so the story process is going slow, as my mind can't seem to stay focused long enough to get pass a couple of paragraphs. Not to mention every time I go to write again it's like I start over. With that being said the story probably will not be put up here as a friend of mine has now given me the challenge of writing a book, but on my quest to regain my writing skills I have come across things that I wrote back in the mid 90s and I figured that I would share some of those which I will post sometime today.