So do you watch the ID channel, and if you do....Are You addicted to watching like me???
IDK, what it is about the unkown, or the mystery behind finding out what happens, or trying to figure out the case before it ends...being a lawyer was a child hood dream of mine, as I got older I wanted to be an investigator or something that deals with forensics. but having a heavy drug addiction at the time, I didn't think trying to call and speak with a detective was the best idea! LOL
but I can say I no longer have a drug addiction, I'm very proud have far I've come in my addiction. it wasn't wasy.
I'm a daily Cannabis smoker now, but believe me I've had my fair share of addiction issues, fortunately I was able and had a strong mind, and was able to break the chains from recreational drug use...whenever I think about the time I wanted to call a detective to ask him how do I become a detective, and hunt serial killers and be on the forensics team!
like WTF was I really thinking, hahaha the shit you do when you're high af
***ALERT***
Sitting here watching/looking👀👀👀😂😂😂 at this crazy storm that's a brewing 💦💦💦out in the
"Gulf of Mexhico" !!! my phone has been blowing up like crazy all day with Hurricane warnings, severe weathers alerts....etc etc and what do you know...
I'm basically dead center of where it's suspect3d to hit, I mean really??? that's the last fucking thing I need, especially after the day I've had... they always say "when it Rains it fucking pours"
I guess it's true!
Doesn't bother me though, hell, I can weather just about anything. I've weathered this damn thing that's inside of me, that has plagued my body for the past 25+ fucking years... so there's not too many things that can break me. mentally I've been broken for a long time. but I never show it. talking to me in person, you would never know...and this is the first time I've ever spoken about it publicly. which is a huge thing for me since I'm really a Very private person...Guess All that privacy just went out the fucking window aye!! Imagine that...In all honesty, if you knew me, or ever met me in person, I'm the type of person that Never complains about anything. I mean what's the point???
all the pain, and suffering, that I go through on a daily basis...and what I've already been thru for the past 25 years, there's not too much I can't handle. but that's another story for another time...
anyways it looks like the storm is going to be a bunch of rain, and probably strong straight line winds up to 60 mph...I have some huge trees in my yard out here in the middle of no where. Lol, I guess we'll know within the next 24 hours!😂😂😂 and I'm over here like 🎶🎶lalala la la 🎶 lalala la la🎶🎶 listening to music as usual...been listening to some good metal lately, that usually helps me ease the stresses of the day...some times I wonder how does someone like me have such shitty luck?? Lol, I mean I'm usually the type of person that's...waiting....waiting.....waiting for the worm... 👀👀👀 You know that old saying... "the early bird always gets the worm" I've always wondered if it was really true? in reference to the worm meaning i always go after things, if i see it and want it, i get it, if i can't get it, i find a way, if there's not a way, then i make a way, that's just me...i was always a go getter... i quit school but came straight out of highschool being a certified welder, and was a welder for 15+ years...i worked outside, long hours, pulling 2 day shifts back to back, one time i was so tired i couldn't see straight, but i was making money and that's what mattered, i was young early 20's....then made the mistake of getting married too young, lol what a riot that was, lessoned learned, many many lessons learned...and i was still hard headed, women they'll make you do some serious things, but you have to love them,and by god they're hard to live with and you can't live without them...hahaha 😂😂😂
(update on my situation)
well as disappointed as i was earlier this evening, for whatever reason, i feel like this ones over with.😢😢😢 they haven't responded back since i told her i slept late, and was having issues with my back, couldn't sleep, we had talked about getting together today and cooking for memorial day...my initial message didn't go thru the first time due to the weather here at my house, when i finally noticed an hour later that it never went thru, i resent it, the message read " hey what's up? i woke up late not too long ago...couldn't sleep back was hurting a lot, woke me upa few times during the night... something to that affect, not worded exactly the same but you catch my drift...over the past few days she has mentioned that she's not been feeling good, stressed out etc...she has a house full, and i told her if she needed to get away for a bit she is welcome here anytime... whatever reason has been really distant over this past weekend, friday she was suppose to come over when she got paid, but that didn't happen, and friday was wierd too, when i messaged her like she didn't respond back for like 3/4 hours...i know she was busy, coz when she did reapond back tells me she's been running an ripping an is about to head home...this was at 3ish on friday...when she finally did message me or call me which ever it was, was like around 630 ish or 730ishh friday night... so i knew her coming over was probably not happening and i was right..it didn't
but I told myself since it's her,and not me, and since she's been so distant the past few days especially today coz they were going to come eat today for memorial day, it wasn't set in stone, but was discussed and mentioned it to me several times why walking out my front door after giving me a bye kiss, and after telling me she wants to get back over here so she can visit and not have to rush off...ughhhhhh like wtf are you really doing ??? i will find out soon with in the next 72 hours... i have decided that i will not message her, and i wanna see if she's gonna be the one to text me first, or if she even text me at all tomorrow and the next night when the storn is going to hit the gulf coast around the Mississippi, I'm not near the water thank goodness, but hopefully we don't have a lot of damage...esp the people living by the water and beaches... for what it's worth I hope she's just maybe getting inside of her own head too much, who knows.... i have told her if she needs to talk i'm always here to listen and will gove advice as needed...i mean even the intimate convos we've had of course i can tell she been abused in the past, which makes me sad and want to be there for her, she getting ready to have a grandbaby, and she has been super excited about that, i was wanting to get the baby something but idk about all that now...shits changing faster than the second hand on a clock... it's crazy if you ask me...what ever make me think this would be any different than before i have the slightest idea, i guess i had a pipe dream while smokin some fire bud is all i can think.. lmfao anyways it's 151a.m. and these words are getting more blurrier by the minute.
I don't fucking get it, I really don't, but I know this, she didn't bother texting or talking to me today, so I will not message her any tomorrow, or the next day, and if she goes a whole 48 hours and doesn't message me to see what's wrong and if she doesn't take the time to at least check on me during the storm,I have every intention on checking on her, that's just the way i am so no worries there...
I will ask her what her problem is, and I want to know why the fuck are you kissing me so passionately smiling from ear to ear telling me you can't wait to see me again....and then you just drop off the face of the earth, like you almost don't even know me??? not to mention I straight hooked you up multiple times when you didn't have any smoke!! that's the fucking shit that pisses me off...
if she doesn't have a valid excuse, idk what I will say...I even get pissed off at myself because Randall is toooooo fucking nice sometimes...I can't help it though i don't have asshole tendencies... never have and never will...I despise douchebaggery and assholes who misstreat women, which I already know I will end up not saying a damn thing and probably tell her thank you for wasting my fucking time!
for real it breaks my fucking heart because It's been so long since I've actually kissed a woman, and kissing her was fucking amazing...I can barely type this for not being able to see the keys coz they're blurry from the tears building up in my eyes... anyways I do apologize for all the language, I'm just super pissed the fuck off....(break time) lighter and bowl, and that Gelato omg it's so good!!! this is what tops the dam cake for me....i've never dated anyone who smokes, and she smokes, anytime that i've dated chicks that didn't smoke, it was always a fucking problem later on...but when we first met it's always cool, and not a big deal...that's why I'm always picky, here I am 41 and finally find someone that shows interest and she's a bud smoker! and then now this fucking shit happens and she's being all fucking weird for whatever unknown reason...coc, know i damn sure haven't given her one...dam let me smoke a bowl..LOL you guys wanna know someone I've always been infatuated with.. the suicide girls!!! omfg
idc if they're lesbians or not i would watch and watch happily in the corner! hahaha U never know what will come out of my mouth...but for realzie I love thier styles and look, covered in tattoos, pierced, wanna talk about mouth watering.. jesus i know this is the most i have ever typed in my life...wtf am i really doing here... that's another thing I've wondered tonigth... what drew me to do this, i guess curiosity is certainly killing the cat.... and this bud smells and taste great!! wish someone was here with me smoking!
OMG i hate infomercials....they're sooooo lame!
Good night, to all...Stay blazed my peoples!!!
