Wow. These past few days have been rough. From feeling protected, secured, and cared for to feeling so lost and vulnerable. It has sent me on a downward spiral I was not sure I wanted.
Then going to the doctor and hearing I need a 4 grand operation to fix the jaw my abusive ex from 6 years ago broke...and not having Daddy to process that with was hard. I feel lost in the world now.
I dont know what to do so I do nothing. I dont know what to say so I say nothing. I dont know how to process my pain so I cut deeper. I dont want to connect so I retreat deeper.
It's hard feeling like you had the whole world and then it dissapeared. But I cant balance my vanilla love with the man I called Daddy. And sometimes I feel I chose wrong. I feel lost right now. I feel unworthy. I feel ugly. I feel everything Daddy made me feel I wasnt. I'm lost...and dont know if I will ever feel right again