Good morning everyone or Kalamera, Kalaspera, Kalanychta, good morning, good evening, good night, depending on what time zone you're currently in.
First, let me tell you a quick little story. While working my last job my boss and I was with a new employee one day, and we were working in one of the many buildings we serviced. This young man, overheard my conversation with my boss, and made the comment "you guys are married you are guaranteed pussy every day". This made both of us to laugh out loud about how inexperienced this kid was to life and to women in general. Reminded me of the old saying, young dumb, and full of cum.
Wisdom: the soundness of action or decision with regard to the application of knowledge, experience and good judgment.
Wisdom is something learned over time, you just don't wake up one day with all the answers.
Now, experience can be achieved in a shorter amount of time with the proper training, think learning to flip burgers at McDonald's, a lot of people have done this job. This does not take years of knowledge, training, and experience like many other jobs require.
So what is my point? In this lifestyle what do you seek, wisdom, experience, or both? Do you seek a Dom that has crafted his skill over many years through knowledge, experience, and/or observation. Do you seek a Dom that has had many subs that claims experience? Do you want a sub knowledgeable and experienced or one you train from day one? This is all up to the individual on what they seek as far as preference. I know what I was looking for and found it.
Now let's talk seriously about observation. Ask yourself, do you have a good observation skill or do you just skim the cliff notes to this lifestyle?
In May of this year I will have been around for 2 years, time flies when you're having fun. In this short time I have used the wisdom, knowledge, and experience to find what I was looking for. Took me less than two months after countless messages, profile reading, and observations to find my beautiful lioness. We have had our share of hard times, her being sick for months, me not feeling well, bills, stress from life and from family, but in the end it's all good.
I have observed lately with reading blogs, seeing profiles, hearing about imploded relationships, to those I wish to extend a heartfelt hug. That said every good relationship starts with honesty, plain and simple, if you lie it dies. It takes a lot of communication, a lot of questions, and it take's a lot of patience, especially if its long distance. It's not all sugar and spice, it's about blood sweat and sometimes tears that make any relationship a great one.
Now let me offer some wisdom, knowledge, and experience, along with observation, for not just the new but the old also if you're making the same mistakes.
1) If no effort was put into writing a profile, how much effort will be put into the relationship? A profile should be the first step in getting to know someone, like meeting a stranger "Hi how are you" it starts a longer conversation.
2) Look at how long they have been here. Did they just joined? Are they saying, "I'm an expert, bow down to me" or "Let me move in, I make a great sub". Ok, let's see your resume with references.
3) If you're going to post pictures make sure they are tasteful. If you're showing everything, maybe shuffle over to FetLife, the craigslist of BDSM. If you're just looking for sex, there are many places to find it. I'm sure it exist here also, but a good portion of you want what is real, not wham bam thank you sir or sub. Explicit pictures should be shared with someone you are intimate with, unless you enjoy showing everything off, then who am I to judge?
4) I cannot stress this enough, ask questions, ask more questions, and ask more fucking questions, it's how we learn. Gather all the knowledge, and make informed decisions.
5) Actions speak louder than words, if they say they're going to do something and they don't, give them a little time, if it doesn't happen ask yourself "how valuable is my time"?
6) Look for the person who fills your life with happiness, and without all the work. If it takes too much work it's just a job, and will not be enjoyable.
Lastly, I will say this, love yourself inside and out, be the person who you want to be, never settle for what you could have had, but be satisfied with what you do have. Don't ever need someone to be happy with in your own life, this you need first and foremost before you welcome someone in you truly want.
Take your time to discover who you truly are before trying to figure what you want and need. Life is too short to waste time on what could have been.
Good day my cage family, I hope this helps. Big hugs and much love.
(Grammar corrected by Hazel, so if there is any mistakes blame me LOL)
