New subs on this site face a steep learning curve. Many receive dozens of messages, many of those are unwanted advances. It can be difficult to know how to navigate.
I know this from reading profiles and from conversations I’ve had with women on this site in the time I’ve been here. Here’s a few dos and donts that I’ve seen be helpful for the ones I’ve spoken with:
DO
- DO Respond to people you are interested in chatting with
- DO Ignore or delete any messages that make you feel uncomfortable
- DO Block users that make you feel uncomfortable
- DO Message people you are interested in.
- DO Like profiles of doms you’d like to hear from if you’re too shy to say hi
- DO Leave a conversation or dynamic at any time that it’s no longer right for you
DONT
- DONT Respond to toxic people. They usually only see this as an invitation to keep being toxic.
- DONT Feel like you owe anyone anything. Anyone that has expectations before you’ve given your permission is out of line. They don’t deserve your time, and are either socially immature or mentally unwell.
- DONT Feel pressured to have everything figured out. If you don’t know what you want that’s okay. We are all learning. Many are here because they are looking for something different, but don’t know what yet. You’re not alone.
- DONT stay in a conversation or dynamic that is not healthy for you or that you don’t want to be in
There’s a lot of pressure that comes with looking for a dynamic. But all dynamics are first and foremost relationships. All relationships are complex and evolve. So take it one step at a time.
This list is not prescriptive. I’m not a sub or a woman so I don’t know what your experience is, and everyone is different. I’m simply offering a dom male point of view in case that’s helpful to anyone out there.
You do what’s best for you, just please be kind to yourself.
