I am a very picky person. I know the difference between needs and wants. I also have a strict set of standards and limits. But lately my desire to be controlled by a strong master has begun to take a desperate tinge. One that I dont understand. An M/s dynamic isnt fast even if the two agree to start the dynamic right away as they build a relationship. And with my limits it's going to be even slower, even on my most desperate feeling days, if I threw my limits to the wind, I would feel guilty and ashamed once I returned to my right mind. During those days when I am in a desperate frame of mind, I get nothing done, I'm hovering over my phone or computer hoping to find someone who would be able to take control of me and would still work to form a relationship with in the limits of my hard limits and standards.
My question is. How does one go about either beating this desire back or figuring out away to function through it? I dont want to be in one of my crazy days when someone unscrupulous gains more control then being online.