Dancing in darkness and solitude

There is a difference between a want and a need
Its like the difference between air and the wind
It's in the way you touch my hand
The gasp when you pull me close
Not knowing what or when,
As you decide how to make me beg
As you drive me to the brink of reason
And make me crash apart like waves on land
The world dissolves around us
There is nothing left, only you
Breath, fire, passion, need
Blood rushing through bodies
As our primal need
To control, to contain
To be taken and claimed
The rush, to let go, to give in-to push harder
Driven so deeply, to another place
Where I can finally be free in abandonment
To come undone as never before
In a glorious dance of letting go.

I find myself deeply disappointed. 

This in and of itself is very surprising and infuriating at the same time. Since I rarely experience disappointment or regret, its a bit of a bitter pill to swallow today.

I gave it my all, more than ever before. I closed my eyes- let go and jumped. I was All in, willing and able fighting so hard to make it work. But it didn't, never would and never could, because he wouldn't commit to me, to us. 

No I'm being ignored, a stranger once again, but how do I turn it off? How do I shut down my treacherous mind when it keeps hitting replay,showing me those smiles, the eyes, the sound of his voice. He walked away, and with him a piece of me. Good riddance that bitch is gone, they deserve one another, she's no longer a part of me... But oh the hole they both left, that gap of him and what I used to be. 

It's left a howling, hungry angry beast that won't go to sleep.