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Dancing in darkness and solitude

4 years ago. August 4, 2019 at 4:30 AM

Why does it seem that every time I start to build an actual bond, a strong connection that actually pulls me in and makes me start to hope again, smile again-it all goes up in flames, evaporating like a dream? I am happy, hyper, hopeful and so full of love yet as soon as I set my sights on a meaningful connection the other party seems to melt away. It’s like there’s this dark cloud following me around and the thunder scares them away...only problem is I AM the thunder, it’s a part of me as much as my smiles, as much as the rain that falls from my eyes when I cry, the songs on my lips as bubbles of laughter burst out and as much as the clouds in my eyes as my thoughts run wild. I give nothing but tenderness and devotion, I am enthusiastic, eager and becoming more carefree, in mind and spirit, yet it seems I am destined to wander alone with these questions and misgivings. All I want is for the love, devotion and dedication to be returned and reciprocated. I guess maybe it’s just the way it’s meant to be, and I should just be focusing on working and improving myself instead.

Bella duPuy​(sub female){Not lookin} - 💞
Sending hugs and love 💞❤💞
4 years ago
Little moon​(sub female){Not lookin} - Thank you but at this time I’m thinking I need to do a cleansing, get my aura checked and do an exorcism just to cover everything and be safe 😂🤣 there must be something about me that’s causing this but for the life of me can’t imagine what🤣🤣🤣
4 years ago
Bella duPuy​(sub female){Not lookin} - Hm
In that case, don't forget to do a detailed review of your family/familial, friend, peer/co-workers, etc connections; as well as a physical internal cleanse (if that wasn't included in what you mentioned.)
i pray all the Best for you.
4 years ago
Little moon​(sub female){Not lookin} - I will make a plan to look into that as well 🙏☺️
4 years ago
SSG{ENM-TLP} - Continue to shine! Accept the light as His contribution and move on. If He doesn't return, He was seasonal. Bringing you light. You have it and now the one who will be able to be present in your light will come. He will create so much of His own light that He won't be intimidated by yours.
4 years ago
Little moon​(sub female){Not lookin} - That is a wonderful way to look at it thank you❤️ I will definitely focus on it and keep it in mind🥰🤗
4 years ago
jackdaws - This post hurts so much, but is also beautiful in so many ways. On the one hand, it hurts that you were made to feel this way, that you were left feeling that it was something wrong with you. On the other, knowing you now, I can see how strong you truly are. Be the thunder, be the lightning, be those flashes of heat and light, anyone who truly loves you will never scare away easily. Someone who truly loves you does not expect you to change or even adapt, someone who truly loves you accepts you, and only wants you to be happier. Someone who truly appreciates you, someone who truly accepts you. Someone who truly knows that no matter the scars, no matter the pain, no matter the anger, all of the flaws are perfect. All of your flaws make you the diamond your soul has become. You are perfect the way you are, and the only changes you need to make are the ones YOU choose, not the ones someone else tries to make you do. We are all perfectly flawed, if it were not for the flaws, we would all be cookie cutter boring beige people (there is nothing wrong with Beige, I was using it as the default colour option most new build houses have here... beige is beautiful in its own right, but we don't all want to see beige all the damn time... sorry, I am getting distracted about beige again).

What I was trying to say, before I got distracted by the beige thing, was you are perfect the way you are, you will be perfect the way you will be when and if you chose to change, there is nothing wrong with you, you are not the problem. Others are the problem for not taking the time to see the real you.
3 months ago
jackdaws - Also, did I mention the fact that I am getting sick of the contractors over here thinking that the default colour they should make all new homes and renovations should be Beige? Like WHY beige? Why not literally any other colour? Beige... don't talk to me about Beige... even the word annoys me... Beige... Boring Everywhere It Gets Ejected... B.E.I.G.E...

Yes, I like black, but I don't expect them to only paint all houses Black... but WHY BEIGE!?
3 months ago
Little moon​(sub female){Not lookin} - That is a beautiful way to say it thank you❤️and yes indeed in the perfect world none of these things would be an issue, I guess the trick is just to be patient and wait for the right ones to see and receive me the way I am🌻🐾
3 months ago
jackdaws - Also, I know this was an old post, but I had to reply, it just annoys me that people still treat others like this >_<
3 months ago

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