Why does it seem that every time I start to build an actual bond, a strong connection that actually pulls me in and makes me start to hope again, smile again-it all goes up in flames, evaporating like a dream? I am happy, hyper, hopeful and so full of love yet as soon as I set my sights on a meaningful connection the other party seems to melt away. It’s like there’s this dark cloud following me around and the thunder scares them away...only problem is I AM the thunder, it’s a part of me as much as my smiles, as much as the rain that falls from my eyes when I cry, the songs on my lips as bubbles of laughter burst out and as much as the clouds in my eyes as my thoughts run wild. I give nothing but tenderness and devotion, I am enthusiastic, eager and becoming more carefree, in mind and spirit, yet it seems I am destined to wander alone with these questions and misgivings. All I want is for the love, devotion and dedication to be returned and reciprocated. I guess maybe it’s just the way it’s meant to be, and I should just be focusing on working and improving myself instead.
5 years ago. August 4, 2019 at 4:30 AM