The stuffies are rioting, there are marshmallow fires all around, everything is upside down and ALL over the place.
Lil has gone in to hiding and no matter what bribes, threats or coercion's are being tossed about like a chaotic and tempestuous rainstorm she is not coming out. Which of course brings out Miss Middle in bitch mode.
So in the end after all the blustering, blubbering and tantrums from the crazy ass Middle who's decided she now wants to wreak havoc right now, it seems things just got a whole lot more serious all of a sudden. Anger issues seem to be the flavor of the week as this new cycle begins and I keep reminding myself that patience and breathing go a loooonnnggg way to controlling a stressful situation.
So wherever little's go when they're in need of a hidey hole, I know she's safe and will come out when the time is right again. Till then it's time for routines, exercise and practices in TLC so we can keep everyone safe from the Middle Brat drama flaring up (back in your cave drama queen).
Getting back to basics and learning to embrace myself and all the pieces of me fully, with as much joy, gratitude and zest as I can muster up in these crazy times.
On that note some of my new go to tools will be the following:
Following the rule of 3
For every
negative there is always a bright side and a positive, so every time I have a bad/negative thought or emotion I will sit and think on it, acknowledge it and then counteract with a positive thought to balance the two out.I will then add in something good and happy to look forward to sometime in the future- creating my own silver lining and not allowing myself to dwell in a negative mind set all the time. Balance in all things is what I will strive for moving forward.
Reflection time:
I will begin setting aside time every day for self reflection, whereby I will sit and look at my reflection and recite happy memories, thoughts, ideas and affirmations as I do this. For now it will be mental/thoughts but I do plan to progress to verbal later on as I work on my speaking abilities and presentation.
This may seem silly and pointless to some but when you've spent most of your life with a fear of being seen, avoiding notice and hiding away from everyone including yourself. When it was ingrained in you from your earliest memories that being seen was a negative thing and the very idea of actually having someone stand there and LOOK at you is petrifying and makes you want to scream, run, destroy rather than just sit there and BE SEEN...I won't allow it to control me or be a weakness any longer. I've conquered worse shit than this before and I will OWN it instead of running from it and turning a blind eye.
Suck it up Buttercup!!
So we ALL know this year has been a trip and still has a way to go, that's a given and not changing any time soon. But what happens when that's the story of your past few YEARS of life and shit just keeps going wrong? Read it again and repeat as much as needed. Suck it up Buttercup!!
Shit happens, life moves on. You can only do your best and move along with it or be moved BY it. Staying stationary isn't an option and you'll never make it up that beautiful mountain or get where you want to be if you don't take that first step and start moving.
Heck even when you fall down, that adds it's own momentum! And if you start to roll back again...take a deep breath, use the rule of 3 and give yourself a fucking break! You don't HAVE to move mountains or change the world in a single day! You don't need to wreck yourself or smash everything to pieces to make progress. Sometimes taking it easy, being gentle gives much better results than working yourself to the bone or running yourself haggard.
Remember always, a seed needs to take grow roots first and find anchorage in the soil before it can grow into what it will become. It needs nurturing, shelter, time and nourishment to grow to its full potential and flourish.
And as always some music to soothe the soul <3
Stay strong and kick ass everybody!
Time to get my Alpha Bad Ass Warrior mode back on.
