"Life was easier when you were what you were born,"
"They isn't grammatically correct,"
"I just don't understand it, it's too complicated,"
"I need someone to explain it to me."
"Why did you *choose* to be that way?"
Nobody who identifies differently than you owes you any sort of information about their identity or especially what's in their pants. It's 2024- there are plenty of sites where folx have already done the emotional labor to explain these topics. A kink site is literally the last place where ignorance should rear its ugly head in the name of "education" or "curiosity." You have no idea how time consuming and tiring it is to be expected to be an on demand dictionary for someone who doesn't want to do the work of educating themselves first. When someone chooses to disclose what's between their legs is up to them, and then it's up to you to decide if that's something you want. Joking about people creating acronyms to tell you what's between their legs is just tacky and would get you laughed out of the real life scene (if you're associating with anyone decent, which I suspect many on here wouldn't).
We don't need new acronyms. There is plenty of language to describe who and what we are. If you don't understand it, it's on you to learn. Just like if I were to go to a country with a different language I wouldn't pick some rando who looks like they might be from there and expect them to explain it all to me, I'd use a damn website or app. Make relationships and then learn the culture this way. It's really not hard, and I'm tired of seeing it on this site.
Some redneck kid in my neck of the woods checked out Djinni's ass today and yelled a compliment to her from his truck. I looked over from my car to agree and he yelled "fuck you dyke" to me as he drove away. We had a shared experience of thinking that Djinni has a GREAT ass and I wasn't going to yell at him, I was going to agree ( I have a bit of a kink for people thinking my partners are hot- I get to take them home, not the commenter, lol. No jealousy at all). Instead, he decided to limit his experience of me to what I look like. I am a dyke, and I look like a dyke. But he didn't know she was with me and he interpreted me, using his limited understanding, to be an angry lesbian. I shouldn't have had to educate him in that moment- he's a big boy, old enough to drive his daddy's truck, and he should know it's 2024 and we don't talk like that anymore (and really he shouldn't cat call women in Dutch Bros parking lot, but like I said, a compliment's a compliment).
It's exhausting to live as someone "different" and I'm not even trans. I'm a cisgender woman and I identify with the sex I was assigned at birth. I'm a bit more masculine than center, but still all she/her. Feeling defensive everytime I walk into a bathroom outside of urban areas is ridiculous. I don't owe it to homophobic old women to let them know that I'm one of them; that I have the perceived bits and pieces to be allowed to pee in that bathroom.
I say all this to make it clear that the thinly veiled homo and transphobia that occurs on this site isn't missed. Making jokes about identifying in one way or another "Oh I'm a man but I identify as a lesbian, haha," "I'm not cis, I'm normal," Life was easier when..." is hurtful and shaming. People go through a lot to figure out their identities and a kink site is not where you should be touting your ignorance.
I've said it time and time again, but bigotry is not owed conversation. I'm tired of how queer and trans people are talked about on this site and I'm going to get snarky and I don't care if someone feels that they are morally superior because they can "converse" about it. Our identities are not up for discussion or requirements to disclose. In this political climate it is danger to look like me, or identify as trans, or gender queer, or anywhere on that spectrum. You can disagree all you want, but I posted an experience I had not even an hour ago.
I get that this is a site mostly for folx who'll never step foot in the real life scene, but that's a bummer, because you'd have the opportunity to face the people you speak so cavalierly of. The community I surround myself in is diverse and beautiful, and none of us require check-ins about our genitalia. Old people need to get over their entitlement to "understand" and do the god damn work themselves, then build some fucking relationships if you want to experience the life of someone different than you.
