ShieMarie

'Shie, Her, Hers: My D-fining Moments

A space to talk about decisions and how they've uniquely shaped and reminded me of who I am. A journey of my most defining moments and experiences as a dominant woman.

Shie Would Like Your Opinion: K Thanx!

4 years ago. July 20, 2019 at 6:00 AM

*You're more than welcome to skim through and simply answer the questions in pink!

Here's some questions for anyone who feels like they'd have some useful advice, an experience, or certain level of *expertise* on the topic at hand. And just for classification purposes, this is not being posted to spite anyone and I don't believe there are any right or wrong answers. I just need some assistance processing everything I shared in my last blog and some of the aftermath to find MY OWN answer.

If someone is a D-type, but they are observed to have some submissive traits, does this automatically mean that they are a switch?

If this said-someone seeks to further explore those traits, does that require a complete halt of any current D/s M/s dynamics they have in order to focus 100% on self discovery?

Because after writing my previous blog and after talking to some folks, I kinda laughed at the possibility of this being a part of me. One individual even said something like, "enjoying things doesn't equal total submission". Which made a lot of sense. Annnnnd, those who know how I am are like, "yeah tf right" to my whole "I can totally check this submissive stuff out" claim.

I read over my last blog... And my anxieties and reservations came out at the end. I said it plainly, a number of times. I don't want to give up my power.

So, maybe...Maybe there's someone out there that can bring the switch out of me. But I don't like the idea of not having subbies. And if I have to leave current dynamics just to explore this side that I'm not even sure about, then that unexplored side can stay hidden. I love what I have going right now... And I'm willing to put away the suggestion / curiosity, just to stick to what I'm comfortable with and already know I enjoy.

All this to say... What are your thoughts? And I'm probably NOT going to explore my submissive side any further for the time being. I tried. I'm no good at it. Lol

Y'all are doing awesome with keeping up with this mess that I am lately. Blame the retrograde! Also, newsflash...yet probably no surprise that I'm a Pisces! Thanks for reading!

Thecharmedmuse(switch female){My Wildman} - I believe that different connections we make bring about different dynamics. I am a person who could be described as a closet control freak. I have a very natural submissive nature; however. I yearn to serve others. I have discovered that I can incorporate this trait into being Domme. It pleases me greatly to please others; to bring joy, to look out for their wellbeing. I am not sure if I’d need to stop being submissive to explore my D or vice versa, but it would take an extraordinary Dom/me to extract that at the moment.

4 years ago

Thecharmedmuse(switch female){My Wildman} - I didn’t really answer your question though...

Does this automatically make one a switch? It is my belief that everyone has a bit of both D and s within and it is the connections we make that draw them out. Your personality moves you toward certain people and you find yourself on one side of the slash or the other and it feels right and natural. At least.. this is my experience.

4 years ago

ShieMarie - Thank you! I def get what you mean in both of your responses and feel like that's the case for me. Being able to incorporate my desire to please by making sure that my subbies are well taken care of. That's where my nurturing side comes in. I really value all of their opinions and suggestions and generally go with them, especially if I know we have a compromise that is pleasing for all involved.

4 years ago

Little moon(sub female){Not lookin} - Just off the top of my head after reading this I would say go with whatever tugs at you and makes you most comfortable. NOTHING stops you from exploring both dynamics and you should never have to stop one for another unless the parties involved do not wish to support your endeavors, and if their wish is to support you and help you grow it shouldn't be an issue. Furthermore remember and realize that a submission has as much if not more power than any master or dom, as the final decision and call lies with them. Good luck either way, but you owe it to yourself to accept and explore all sides of yourself with love, tenderness and all the patience in the world.

4 years ago

ShieMarie - Thank you for your comment and well wishes! Definitely for clarification purposes, I am now aware of how my mention of not letting my power go comes off. I had mentioned in my other blog that I tend to be indecisive and that my subbies are encouraged to think for themselves and for me at times. I rather enjoy and appreciate an opinionated subbie, and furthermore understand how consent works as an exchange of power in all situations. It's beautiful/ respectable and I am happy to be the kind of Domme that knows the limits of power. When I say that I don't want to let go of my power, this is me saying that in regards to my own personal power and feelings that I have about myself as a Domme. I hope this makes sense. ❤️✨

4 years ago

Bunnie - I would say it depends on what you desire. If you want to be comfortable, stay doing what you’re doing. If you want to grow... get comfortable with being uncomfortable lol :)

4 years ago

ShieMarie - "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable". 🤭 I like that! So true. But I don't think I'm being stagnant in any way... I just think maybe this isn't the right time for me to explore this or quite possibly not anything that would suit me. Only time will tell.

4 years ago

TheLittlePrincess(sub female){SSG} - I do not believe that you have to drop subs just so you can explore yourself. You know you like to be in control so I don't see a reason to have to give that up. My domme is a switch and she has a master. It doesn't change anything about how I view her or if I listen to what she says or not. I think as long as you're honest with whoever you do end up trying to explore your possible submissive side with then that's all that really matters. I want to say you should tell your sub(s) once you start exploring your sub side more, but you may not really need to. I would say that is up to you. If your self discovery is something you're wanting to focus on a lot more and it cuts too much into the time you would normally give your sub, then I think telling them what's going on would be appropriate. If nothing is really changing for them and you don't feel the need to tell them then don't. This is all just my opinion of course. But just because you are noticing some submissive traits in yourself does not mean you are a switch. There is no hard and fast rule really when it comes to figuring out who you are and what you like though. So try to relax and enjoy yourself. You'll get it all figured out :)

4 years ago

ShieMarie - Thanks TLP!!!! I'm pretty transparent so I share it all. A bit of an oversharer if you ask me. Lol

But I really appreciate your reply and for giving insight to your own experience. I definitely don't want to drop any subbies, and I don't even want to give them a smidget less of my time. I think I'm going to stay in my lame for now. Lol and if I get some time or even feel like I'm going to go down that other path, then I'll explore when I am not attached. I mean it's either that or finding someone that understands I'm a Domme first and this other part comes second. Which I can imagine might be tough, because it's technically me pushing back against being submissive.

Like, "Hey, help me explore my submissive side. But also don't encroach on my dominance!?!" I feel that has the potential to get sticky and uncomfortable... Which is why I'm thinking more about dM's reply and being specific about what I need, should I get to this point of active discovery.

4 years ago

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