Something has been on my mind lately. It’s the proclamation that submission is a gift.
I’m not going to discuss the merits of this sentiment because it is an individual perception of what they are contributing to their own relationship and therefore, the terminology needs to only be acceptable to the parties involved.
But let’s look at what it means to give a gift. A gift is something given freely to another with no expectation of anything in return. When you give your submission, are you expecting things in return? Are you making demands upon the recipient? Think carefully.
When you *gift* your submission, you have already made a determination that a particular Dominant was worth bestowing this gift. Once you’ve given it away, it is up to the Dominant how it is used.
I’m going to give you $10,000 for no reason other than I feel you deserve it. Do I have recourse if you blow it all in 24 hours on gambling, drinking and a party weekend for friends that don’t include me? What if you take that money and put food on your table for your children, pay your utilities and eliminate some debt? No, once given, the gift belongs to the recipient. I can’t reasonably turn around and tell you how to spend the money based on my ideas of what should be done.
Instead of money, I’m going to give you a painting. Must you then display it prominently in your living room? No. That painting could be one done by my dog or an original Picasso. Either way, what you do with it once it passes from my hands to yours is up to you.
The fact is, I won’t give something of value to someone unless I believe it will be valued. The greater the value is to me, the more discerning I will be in bestowing it upon someone else.
In my opinion, if you have given your submission, you must then trust that it will be managed in a way that best suits its user.
He may not fuck you and beat you daily. Heck, he may not even do it when you beg on bended knee. You have to trust. You have to absorb your own needs and supplicate yourself to the needs of your Dominant.
Which leads me to the reason I started writing in the first place ...
Gratitude.
Your Dominant has chosen you as much as you’ve chosen him/her (him for my purposes). He has seen value in your submission. He has determined that he can meet his needs through you. He has taken the time to believe that he can take control from you and use it wisely.
Where is the gratitude?
Here you have a Dominant who has taken the time and energy to ask you detailed questions about who you are and how you think. He has taken the time to see beyond the “crazy” and wants more of you. He devotes time and energy into providing you with the control and structure you need. He texts. He calls. He fucks. He beats. He punishes. He disciplines. He structures. He instructs. He talks. He listens. He questions. He absorbs. He laughs. He uplifts. He reassures. He consoles. He demands. He uses.
Is he doing this simply because it gives him a hard on? Well, maybe partly. I mean, would he be a Dominant if it didn’t? But there is more than that.
He sees in you something more than you see in yourself. He wants to show this to you in HIS way, not yours.
It seems, to me, that submissives occasionally get caught up in the orgasms they give and not the ones they receive. Each orgasm you have, each one that is orchestrated by your Dominant, is a lesson; a reward; a reminder; a celebration.
It’s time to look at all that your Dominant is providing you and be grateful for it.
**Dear Dom, **
**Thank you for what you have done for me.**
**Thank you for seeing in me more than I see in myself.**
**Thank you for taking the time to get to know me before agreeing to take me as your submissive.**
**Thank you for pushing me in ways that make me angry, hurt, afraid and unsettled. It is in those ways that I learn and grow. It is how I learn to value you and trust you more.**
**Thank you for meeting my needs by using me for your own.**
**Thank you for feeding my need to submit with your need to control.**
**Thank you for accepting my weaknesses and showing me yours.**
**Thank you for allowing me into your life.**
**Thank you for your sadistically creative torture.**
**Thank you for never letting me forget who owns me.**
**Thank you for your devotion to my care and well-being.**
**Thank you for your erections. There is nothing like knowing your blood is flowing because of me.**
**Thank you for tormenting me with threats and promises.**
**Thank you for your time.**
**Thank you for needing what I have to offer.**
**Thank you for embracing all of me and not rejecting the “crazy.”**
**Thank you for correcting me when I lose my way.**
**Thank you for holding me to a higher standard.**
**Thank you for hurting me.**
**Thank you for caring for me.**
**Thank you for your dominance.**
***THANK YOU!!***
