One of the things W/we have in common is the fact that without previous partners it seemed like there was just a constant cycle of being misunderstood. There is a special kind of frustration and shame that comes with constantly having to explain and reexplain yourself because you are constantly being misunderstood. It makes you feel crazy or less than, just inept. It really gets under your skin and into your head and heart. It's the quickest way to undermine your self confidence. I think this is where we BOTH were when we met.
The relief and freedom that comes with finding someone who GETS you is hard to explain. I can't say that W/we have never had a disagreement, we have. We are human. We both have needs, wants, desires, and thoughts that are on RARE occasion contrary to the other, but I can say W/we have never had a fight. That's a totally foreign, but welcome experience. W/we acknowledge fairly regularly about how this relationship is vastly different to any other W/we have been in. How good it feels to learn "healthy".
How does this relate to being "seen, heard, and understood?"
Earlier today I read a post that in part said "things in life are hard, so I need to take a step back" and I made an audible sound at that. So let me say this clearly... THERE IS NEVER A MOMENT WHEN HIS EXISTENCE IN MY LIFE IS NOT DESIRED AND NEEDED. ... so am I. If He were to say those words "life is hard so I need to take a step back" .... that right there is abandonment. That right there is exactly what we are NOT about. He does not add stress or weight. He is not a "job" He is not stressful. His presence in my life is a blessing, a relief, an honor, He IS my safe place. Right now I should be anxiety ridden. I should be on the verge of a constant meltdown. I should be terrified. I should be just an absolute mess. I am not. There is not a damn thing he can DO to help me right now. There is not a damn thing he can do to protect me or take away things that should cause me fear... it is his existence that does.
He understands what makes me tick, and he loves me for it.
He knows what motivates me, and how to mold that motivation to guide me to be better for myself and for Him.
He knows my heart, and he knows how to hold it.
He hears what I say without the tint of his own *baggage*, and he knows to read it in the context of ME and all he knows of ME, and THAT is what prevents misunderstandings.
He hears me, all I say and the words of my actions.
He sees me. He sees my hurts, my fears (because I have shared them with nothing hidden or held back). He sees my hopes and dreams. He sees my needs and my wants... and He provides for all of them. He holds me in His heart and His hands all day every day, actively and passively.
Today I found two things in my closet that made me smile... #1 a little bottle of the cologne we bought together when he was here and that He sent me home with and #2 an unopened jar of lavender Vicks which He brought for big girl and me.
Thank you for all the ways You see and hear me.
His slaveMikayla
