SHRINK TALK, THE DOCTOR IS IN

Coach Bobby Knight was honored today at Indiana University, during half time of the IU basketball game. This is the first time Coach Knight has been back on the campus of IU, in 25 years. It was a tribute to see him and all of his former basketball players around him, and does a lot for the community. Coach Knight is 79 years old, and was fired by the University, 25 years ago, for his reckless behaviors. But forgiveness is key, and its important that these old wounds heal, and  i extend an olive branch of forgiveness and respect to him. Thank you for coming back, thank you for giving us great memories. I respect what you have done today.  

I am a sports fan, and will continue to blog on sporting events, please forgive me, haha.

Let’s take a look at the submissive or a bottom and their experience during a bdsm scene. The submissive’s experience is commonly referred to as subspace and subdrop. There are two kinds of subspace. The first is physiological subspace. It usually occurs and is sustained through pain play. The second is a psychological subspace which is brought about when a sub is drawn to their Dom, irrespective of any physiological factors of pain play, or the endorphins that are produced. Endorphins are hormones produced within the brain’s nervous system and causes an analgesic response. They are the body’s natural painkillers, and also produces a euphoria and sense of well being.  This second subspace, the intense attraction towards and for their Dom, is very common and is often talked about in any submissive’s profile. “I will not allow any man to just talk to me for two minutes and allow them to control and be my Dom. That will not happen. It takes time, emotion, love and trust to create this”. SO RIGHT. These subs know what this second subspace is and its importance. 

The journey towards subspace through pain play has two stages. Stage 1 is where the sub might tease or provoke their Dom and is often called SAM—smart ass masochist space. It is light hearted banter, sarcastic behaviors, where the sub consciously knows that this will create a rise and behaviors from their Dom. I also believe this is what’s known as Brat behavior.  

The second stage is called the “blonde space”. (No offense to blondes, i love blondes). During this stage, the sub behaves absentmindedly, forgetting commands and even their speech can become affected. The release of these natural chemicals, epinephrine, endorphins, and enkephalins can create a floating experience or a euphoria. It is a space, which can become trance like, pain is gone, problems disappear and your floating and experiencing pleasure. It’s intense and addictive. Once experienced, the sub wants it again and again and may go to great lengths to achieve this. A sub’s creativity towards producing bratty behavior is tremendous.  I marvel at their creativity, and determination. For me, this trance is similar to a runner’s high. A runner’s high is the feeling of pure elation, reduced stress, and a decrease ability to feel pain due to a flood of endorphins released by exercise. One may ask, which high is more intense, more significant, and I don’t know the answer to that.  Perhaps a sub who has experienced both can give us this answer? Subs often become very emotional and can become highly sensitive to touch.  Often times, a sub can not talk and it is important for their Doms to understand and identify accurately these signs. It is important that their Dom does not recognize their sub’s silence as permission to give them more pain. This is a mistake, look at the physical signs of your sub, their labored breathing, their disorientation, slurred speech, silence, and or dizziness. This is a period where the sub can not accurately interpret their needs and even if they have a safe word, because of their inability to speak, and or recognize their true needs, the safe word becomes ineffective. Please Doms do not feel, that because their sub has this safe word, and it is not consciously spoken or used, that it is safe to proceed. It is not safe to proceed.

This stage can lead to primal behavior. Primal behaviors can lead to a flight or fight response. The sub’s behavior is for food, water, survival, and love. This is known as the subdrop. Everyone who experiences the high, must come down from this natural elation. One can not sustain this, the drop creates exhaustion, incoherence, incoordination, and sedation. (Sleepiness).  This is where AFTERCARE is so so important and it is the job of their Dom to do this for his sub. It is vital that their Dom’s care for their welfare of them at this time occur. They, (sub) are unable to provide this for themselves. I am reminded of the great scene, in 50 Shades of Grey, (i know, i know, its not accurate) but allow a moment of digression, Christian picks her up and carries her to his bedroom, lovingly, and gives her food, and water, and puts lotions and creams on her wounds. (I loved their love story).

The key for all kink behavior is happiness and pleasure for all involved. Hope this helps.