SHRINK TALK, THE DOCTOR IS IN

“Thank you for your service” is what i always say when meeting or talking to someone who has been in the service, and given his or her life to defend our country. And now, i must add, an additional group of people who have defended our country currently along with the people of the armed services. They are all AMERICA’S HEROS, NOW AND FOREVER.   I am speaking of the many thousands of people who have help combat covid 19 during this pandemic. The front line of defense, the unsung hero’s, who have worked tirelessly , day after day, weekend after weekend. The many doctors and nurses who were sleeping in their cars after their shifts so they didn’t bring home to their families,  whatever this was. At the beginning, we didn’t know what this was, only that it was highly infectious, and very deadly. 

Now these heros are leaving medicine. It is a shame and a very sad thing indeed. The Washington Post reports, 

“An exodus from the medical profession is underway, as doctors, nurses and other health-care workers experience trauma, burnout and disillusionment. About 3 in 10 workers have considered leaving the profession, according to a new Washington Post-Kaiser Family Foundation poll, and more than half report burnout. 

“Most of us got into this to save lives. But when death is blowing around you like a tornado and you can’t make a dent in any of it, it makes you question whether you’re making any difference,” a night-shift nurse in Dallas told The Post.”

i hope and pray for time and patience. I hope these people can retain some sense of balance and structure and peace. I ask G-D for help with this. There is no second best in medicine, you must be at the top of your game, always, every minute of every waking hour.  I know their thoughts, i ask and pray for time to heal. My heart and gratitude goes out to these American Heros. This country owes you and our fighting men a debt of gratitude of which I will never be able to re pay.  I humbly salute you all!

Crisis averted, in fact, there was no crisis, i cant believe she duped me.  Now, she just txted me, saying, guess what day it is today......April 1, April fool’s day, 

i cant believe i fell for this, my apologies my cage friends.  Now i need to go spank her, royally

i hang my head in shame.  

I want to add more information about Covid 19. My friend, who has been vaccinated twice, so she fully has been dosed, started having fever, chills, n/v,  and body aches on Monday. On Tuesday, she started losing her taste and tested positive for Covid. She is a nurse, so she is very familiar with procedures.

She is not doing well, her oxygen is down to 90% in her blood, normal is 97-98%, this is bad. This is an indication for hospitalization, which she is desperate to avoid. Oxygen has been ordered to her home. 

Apparently this has been happening around the nation, 102 people in Washington have contacted covid, even though they have been inoculated. PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, my cage friends. This is real, this is serious, and this is not going away, anytime soon. 

MASK UP, KEEP VIGILANT AND please pray for my friend.  I am asking for your prayers and support.

Many thanks,

Rob 

A Cage friend just got her lush III, and everyone is raving and yelling and screaming about how good it is. And quite frankly, i am very jealous. So i decided to write and ask about........to all my Cage friends

DO THEY MAKE A PERFECT VAGINA. Something that is so real, that i will be yelling and screaming like all the rest of my cage friends. So come all ye men or women, tell me your ideas and thoughts.

What is the best vaginal opening out there.......................

A belated happy Memorial Day, it was a hard day for me. My father flew 34 missions over Japan in WW II and on his 34th, he was shot down over Japan. He appeared to be a POW for 7 months. I said appeared to be, but i just don’t know. I found out about my father, quite late in life and he had some sketchy memories, but i tried my best. I wrote for his records , but they had the big fire in St. Louis, and the records that i got back revealed nothing. My father said, when he was liberated, he went through his discharge in California, but didn’t tell anyone, he said, he just wanted out, attended school on the GI bill and never looked back.

Memorial Day was always hard for my dad, and I knew the reason why. He left a lot of his friends on the battlefield.  

A belated thank you guys and gals, for all you have done for our country.  I miss you dad, a lot.

First, i must apologize that this part II is so so late,  i had my notes written for it but life took over and I am sorry. But better late than never.

Secondly, this blog is about how to help your self with your depression. Things we can do to help ourselves.

So lets start

You are depressed, you have feelings of sadness, low self esteem, weight loss or weight gain, sleep problems, too much sleep or not enough sleep, you find yourself waking up early in the morning and can’t go back to bed, feelings of hopeless and helplessness, suicidal thoughts, and not having any pleasure in life, or doing things that were once pleasurable but are not now.  Everyone gets depressed, (please read earlier blog). There is no shame in this. Depression does not limit itself to one particular group or status. It affects everyone and everyone must learn to fight it.

Depression likes to attack earlier mental mechanisms that one has, for example, early vulnerability factors, like attachment disruption, neglect, or abuse.  ( I am depressed because my father left me, and my family at an early age, or my mom never paid any attention to me as a young child, so I am even more depressed now, or my traumatic event of G-D forbid being abused, I am depressed now because I was abused at a young age.) Depression likes to link up with these early events and create an even more serious depression. 

Depression likes to also link up with triggering events (i.e. loss of close relationships, being defeated or trapped in a low socially rewarding or hostile environments) I am depressed, because i lost my close relationship with my friend, or because I live with people that II don’t like.

Further, Depression likes to link up with psychological preoccupations of people (i.e. sense of unloveableness, seeing yourself as inferior, low self esteem, or a failure. So often my patients tell me, “ I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not skinny enough, I am not enough for him, No one will ever love me.”

We need to fight these attachments and identify what is currently making us depressed and also what is in our past that is causing us these feelings. Identify these things as two separate events, traumas, that are not attached, that are not together and have differences, not similarities. I am depressed now, because of self isolation, not because of my past abuse, and not because my father left me at an early age and I can not find a man.  How do we do this? We change our ways of coping and change our coping style. 

Coping Mechanism #1

Make lifestyle changes to boost your mood. Take control of your life to alleviate feelings of low self esteem and low self confidence. Start slowly and perhaps take this, one day at a time. Today, I am going to smile at 10 people in the office, today I am going to count my thoughts and over a period of time (say one hour), I am going to have more positive thoughts than negative ones, and each day , expand this another hour or so, to the point where this becomes second nature, and you can do this, in ur sleep. Learn to fake it and then you can make it, is the old saying. It’s true, i think.

Minimize your stress. Identify the sources of stress that you have in your life and take steps to reduce it. Little steps is what makes the difference, don’t go into this, feeling you have to make big big changes, this is just a set up for failure.

Coping Mechanism #2

Talk to a therapist, Psychotherapy will focus on helping people adjust their lifestyle in ways that are possible to minimize stress and cope with stressors. These people are trained professionals who can help.

Coping Mechanism #3

Express yourself in writing.  Writing a journal or blog will relieve stress, and create positive feelings about yourself, and this is what’s its all about. You can relieve stress by being open about your thoughts, feelings, and concerns in your writing. Concentrate on releasing your bent up frustration in your writing too.

Coping Mechanism #4

Boost your self image. Positive thinking will allow you to focus on your strengths, and your best qualities. Now before i hear, but i have no strengths, or best qualities. Everyone does, everyone has some strengths or qualities that are solely their own. Focus on that, identify it and broaden it. Make it more of ur own! Make lifestyle changes that impower your self esteem, such as eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, spending time with friends who make you feel good. 

Coping Mechanism #5

Stick to a schedule. Many times,  their motivation will drop, and people with depression will begin to feel unproductive and useless. Develop and maintain a schedule which will provide a source of enjoyment and will maintain a feeling of being productive.

Coping Mechanism #6

Stay involved. You may want to withdraw but don’t, this just leads to low self esteem or lack of interest. Force yourself to continue to participate in what ever, a social life is important. Do not withdraw and isolate yourself. 

Coping Mechanism #7

Depend on others. Friends and family can help you feel better, they can encourage you to eat healthy, diet, exercise and generally take steps to care for your self, which will improve your positive mood and create feelings of happiness. Join a support group, being a part of the community can help in maintaining a positiveness about you.

i hope this is helpful, and to all the essential people that are helping and maintaining America Strong. We stand with you, shoulder to shoulder, in fighting this disease.

Rob 

Depression affects everyone, i should repeat that, cause i don’t want that to get unnoticed, Depression affects everyone , whether its a relative , a significant other, a child, friend or teacher, but everyone is affected by it.

Further, everyone will be depressed at some point in time in their life. That’s a fact, no one will escape these sad feelings, or escape the effects of it, including the President of the United States, the prime minister of england, or for that matter, the Queen of England or most importantly, speaking as a Dom, the submissive of your life, who you must protect and care for and love unconditionally.

So its important that we understand what depression is, what it isn’t , and how we can help one another. It’s all about helping for those of us in the medical field, even if we do get an adrenaline rush. (Yes, i am speaking to you , ma’am, and I thank you for being there and helping others)

A major depressive episode is indicated by the presence of at least five of the following during a sustained 2 week period, (don’t worry, i will explain all these terms ) persistent negative mood,(negative thoughts, like i am not good, i am not pretty, i am not worthy of this man’s attention),  diminished satisfaction or pleasure from engaging in nearly all activities, (the activities that u normally love and want to do, you have no interest in, like playing golf or cooking or watching movies),  significant weight loss, chronic insomnia, (not sleeping) or hypersomnia, (sleeping too much, like 10-12 hours),  agitation, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, difficulty concentrating, and focusing, and suicidal ideation. You only need 5 of these symptoms over a period of two weeks.

Depression is common, it affects 3-5% of the population at any one time. There are about 330 million people just in the United States, that’s 16.5 million people at any one time. It’s significant and it hurts.

What is depression?  For the most part, its a lowering of a chemical in our brain, and the treatment is to give medication to just increase this chemical in our brain. The chemical in our brain is called serotonin, and for the most part, not always, about 80% (in my opinion) of the depressions is caused by a lowering of serotonin. Treatment is a SSRI, which means a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, which just allows more serotonin in the brain to become more effective and take away our depressive symptoms. 

Please note, this is not all depressions, there are other causes, and other treatments, and that will be discussed in another blog.

Hope this helps, and be happy. 

Rob.      And if you like this blog, check out my subspace and subdrop blog, scroll down please , thanks 

I write about suicidal thoughts and thinking, cause I want people to know about this, I don’t want this pushed under the rug so to speak. We are living human beings and we have stress and problems and its no shame to have thought about this or even in the extreme to have or make a plan. The shame is not getting the help that one needs. I write this to inform everyone about it, so if this helps one person or better yet saves one person from this terrible thing, then that would be a great day.

Everyone gets sad or depressed, everyone has periods of being down and low, as a society we need to make it ok, to get help, to seek help, to be more supportive, to be more loving and kind.  

Here are some facts: Reported suicides in 2017,    47, 173 suicides, 1.4 million people attempted it, 

Suicide is underreported and is often listed as accidental

Suicide increases with age, it is the third leading cause of death in male adolescents and college students

The ratio of completes is 3:1 (Male to Female); that of attempted is 3:1(Females to Males),  So females attempt it more often but males are more successful

The most common attempt is by drug ingestion, most likely to be fatal is shooting

MOST PEOPE ARE NOT PSYCHOTIC OR INCOMPETENT, MOST ARE SAD AND DEPRESSED

1.  Population Risk Factors

Males

Elderly

Isolated Individuals

Whites

American Indians

Policemen

2. Individual Risk Factors

Sense of Helplessness, particularly in someone who has a lot of sadness and depression, loneliness, exhaustion, “unbearable “ psychological pain

Mental Health Problems, like depression, alcoholism, psychoses, panic disorder with depression, 

Failing Health

Intoxication, not just with alcohol, but other drugs

Impaired impulse control for any reason

History of previous suicidal attempts, this is most significant, please get some help, you are not alone.....

Family History of Suicide, may be a genetic component 

Widowed, divorced, separated, single, unemployed , retired

Chronic Medical Problems

Family stresses or instability, with few external supports

Recent loss or rejection

Parental loss during childhood

Holidays, spring, anniversaries 

Please, Please get help, seek help, tell someone, don’t allow yourself to go through this alone, there is a lot of great support systems in place to aid in your stress. 

 I hope this is helpful.

Rob  

Coach Bobby Knight was honored today at Indiana University, during half time of the IU basketball game. This is the first time Coach Knight has been back on the campus of IU, in 25 years. It was a tribute to see him and all of his former basketball players around him, and does a lot for the community. Coach Knight is 79 years old, and was fired by the University, 25 years ago, for his reckless behaviors. But forgiveness is key, and its important that these old wounds heal, and  i extend an olive branch of forgiveness and respect to him. Thank you for coming back, thank you for giving us great memories. I respect what you have done today.  

I am a sports fan, and will continue to blog on sporting events, please forgive me, haha.

Let’s take a look at the submissive or a bottom and their experience during a bdsm scene. The submissive’s experience is commonly referred to as subspace and subdrop. There are two kinds of subspace. The first is physiological subspace. It usually occurs and is sustained through pain play. The second is a psychological subspace which is brought about when a sub is drawn to their Dom, irrespective of any physiological factors of pain play, or the endorphins that are produced. Endorphins are hormones produced within the brain’s nervous system and causes an analgesic response. They are the body’s natural painkillers, and also produces a euphoria and sense of well being.  This second subspace, the intense attraction towards and for their Dom, is very common and is often talked about in any submissive’s profile. “I will not allow any man to just talk to me for two minutes and allow them to control and be my Dom. That will not happen. It takes time, emotion, love and trust to create this”. SO RIGHT. These subs know what this second subspace is and its importance. 

The journey towards subspace through pain play has two stages. Stage 1 is where the sub might tease or provoke their Dom and is often called SAM—smart ass masochist space. It is light hearted banter, sarcastic behaviors, where the sub consciously knows that this will create a rise and behaviors from their Dom. I also believe this is what’s known as Brat behavior.  

The second stage is called the “blonde space”. (No offense to blondes, i love blondes). During this stage, the sub behaves absentmindedly, forgetting commands and even their speech can become affected. The release of these natural chemicals, epinephrine, endorphins, and enkephalins can create a floating experience or a euphoria. It is a space, which can become trance like, pain is gone, problems disappear and your floating and experiencing pleasure. It’s intense and addictive. Once experienced, the sub wants it again and again and may go to great lengths to achieve this. A sub’s creativity towards producing bratty behavior is tremendous.  I marvel at their creativity, and determination. For me, this trance is similar to a runner’s high. A runner’s high is the feeling of pure elation, reduced stress, and a decrease ability to feel pain due to a flood of endorphins released by exercise. One may ask, which high is more intense, more significant, and I don’t know the answer to that.  Perhaps a sub who has experienced both can give us this answer? Subs often become very emotional and can become highly sensitive to touch.  Often times, a sub can not talk and it is important for their Doms to understand and identify accurately these signs. It is important that their Dom does not recognize their sub’s silence as permission to give them more pain. This is a mistake, look at the physical signs of your sub, their labored breathing, their disorientation, slurred speech, silence, and or dizziness. This is a period where the sub can not accurately interpret their needs and even if they have a safe word, because of their inability to speak, and or recognize their true needs, the safe word becomes ineffective. Please Doms do not feel, that because their sub has this safe word, and it is not consciously spoken or used, that it is safe to proceed. It is not safe to proceed.

This stage can lead to primal behavior. Primal behaviors can lead to a flight or fight response. The sub’s behavior is for food, water, survival, and love. This is known as the subdrop. Everyone who experiences the high, must come down from this natural elation. One can not sustain this, the drop creates exhaustion, incoherence, incoordination, and sedation. (Sleepiness).  This is where AFTERCARE is so so important and it is the job of their Dom to do this for his sub. It is vital that their Dom’s care for their welfare of them at this time occur. They, (sub) are unable to provide this for themselves. I am reminded of the great scene, in 50 Shades of Grey, (i know, i know, its not accurate) but allow a moment of digression, Christian picks her up and carries her to his bedroom, lovingly, and gives her food, and water, and puts lotions and creams on her wounds. (I loved their love story).

The key for all kink behavior is happiness and pleasure for all involved. Hope this helps.