Discovering my true self

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Learning } - Unfortunately you can expect that for at least the first month :/ listen to your gut, if the person doesn't seem right then chances are they aren't. BUT. I will say that reading the profiles of the instadoms can be helpful because it just gives you an idea of what red flags to look for.

Milana​(sub female){Owned} - I'm sorry you've been dealing with such... Childishness. I have dealt with similar nonsense myself & It may seem like its impossible but trust me, its highly possible you'll find that "unicorn". I hope that you do! Don't give up... Journey is just beginning. ☺ blessings to a new day!!

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} - Hi Karilynn, so glad you have joined us. Welcome.

I also did the reading beforehand. And, I watched the site for three weeks before I joined. I made a short list of three potential Doms I was interested in before I joined (whose posts to blogs seemed similar to my point of view. )

I tweaked my profile several times. You probably will too. Depending on what you have in your profile may draw certain types of Doms that you may not want to hear from.

Once I joined I had the same full in box. I never had a chance to initiate contact with those on the short list. In fact one of those three contacted me on the first day. Yes, I am the rarity...found my forever Dom on the first day. I haven't even met him in person yet, but we communicate constantly.

It just normally takes a long time...have faith....take a look at Dom profiles...make a short list of those available that interest you. Be selective. Talk online for awhile first. Communication and trust up front is key. You can make first contact with them. Don't wait for them to contact you.
Grey Eyes

perfectmistake​(sub female){Nyxian565} - What are some things I should be “looking for” in a Dom?

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} - Well, that's a personal thing. What age Dom are you looking for, what experience would you want him to have. Are you looking for ldr or in person? Long term, short term? If, as an example, you are interested in rope, then you probably would like someone experienced in that area. Do you want someone who you are in contact with frequently or is once a week good for you? You are in an open marriage so what is your expectation with that. Is you expectation that this new relationship has to do only with sex...or in other areas of your life as well?

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} - Unfortunately being here doesn't preclude people from being just like anyone else. It would be nice if an interest in BDSM would allow for us to hold someone to a higher standard, sadly it does not. Lots of creeps on here too. Don't let it discourage you, as there are wonderful people around. Just keep blocking and ignoring the jerks.

StarkRost​(dom male) - You've received some important perspectives and advice above. There are some participants to this site who have no social graces and it's not restricted to the (so-called) Doms - I was ghosted and blocked by a sub at the very start of what I hoped would be a long-term relationship because I politely refused to have phone sex with her at the particular time she requested it. The good news is, every dick pic you get is a very clear signal of someone you don't want to know - very quick vetting, no fuss, no muss. Think of how much time you are saving!!

I think you've made some easily corrected rookie mistakes. Here are your "About Me" remarks: I am a 24 year old female mom of 2 in an open marriage. I’m interested in exploring my needs/desires in the bedroom. I’m a naturally submissive person with brat like tendencies.
If you would like to chat message me on kik: karilynn68"

"open marriage" and "I’m interested in exploring my needs/desires in the bedroom" are two signals that imply you only want sex. You say NOTHING about starting slow and getting to know someone. I don't know about the conversation you had with the person you met, but I am all but certain he was expecting an easy score because it appears that is what you want. FWIW, I believe it is a big mistake to publicly disclose your KIK info (or any other info that can directly lead to you). Only give that to people you trust.

Edit your profile, take MUCH more time to learn about someone, read all the precautions about how to go about safely meeting someone for the first time and learn to laugh at the inevitable dick picks.

perfectmistake​(sub female){Nyxian565} - Thank you! That I very good advice. How does my profile look now? Any other recommendations that you could make?

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - I am in total agreement with Starkrost... I think it is a learning curve you needed. My baby girl gave you advice as well..... weed out the unwanted be selective.. and ask questions from others.. this community has a lot of great people who will help you

Devil's damsel​(sub female){HandsomeDe} - You have received a lot of great advice here, especially from StarkRost. My two cents is to make friends with other subs here. The sub community in this place is strong and they watch each other’s backs. If you’re talking to a potential Dom, it wouldn’t hurt to ask around the subbiesphere. Maybe see what you can find out about him. Keep in mind that it’s always best to follow your gut and instincts, what people say may not always be your experience. But it could give you a feel for who you’re dealing with.

SubmissiveDame - I found that making my profile VERY specific cut out quite a few of the nasties...not all, unfortunately. Also by being involved and making some friends I was able to figure out my wants and needs...also I took sometime to reflect on those things as well. The most important thing is you take your time, trust your instincts and most importantly NEVER let a Dominant take advantage of you. If you are not comfortable with what they are asking speak up! If you know what your limits are make sure you let them know! In the short time that I have been here I have learned that trust and respect are two of the most important aspects of a successful D/S relationship. I hope you find your unicorn!

p.s. if you ever need someone to vent to I'm always a message away! Making friends in this community has helped me out greatly and I want more then ever to extend that help and graciousness I was shown!

perfectmistake​(sub female){Nyxian565} - Yes thank you! I will definitely take you up on the offer!!

StarkRost​(dom male) - Karilynn, I don't believe I am the best one to critique your current profile. While it's a definite improvement, I think (don't rely on this, get feedback from others) you have an obligation to let prospective partners that you are married (beyond the obligation, I think it will save you a lot of time and energy). I think (again, don't rely on this) you may want to flesh out a little more of exactly what you want to accomplish. If you check my profile, it is empty because I haven't had the time to think through how to write something that clearly states what I'm looking for so I believe others will give you better guidance (plus, I'm clearly procrastinating!!).

perfectmistake​(sub female){Nyxian565} - Thank you again for the advice and for being honest about everything. I truly appreciate it.

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} - I am only 45 minutes from you

Lost Little Fox​(sub female){Not lookin} - Don’t give up. There are good ones out there I promise.

submissiveprincess​(sub female){DomKnight} - I'm sorry you are dealing with this. There are good Doms out there I promise! Keep at it! 💕

RedKat{Not now } - Wow! What is it with the dick pics?? And videos? I have received them from other sites and I feel like I am invading their privacy!! It doesn’t do anything for me but I think, is something wrong with me?