One of the things that I embrace about this dynamic is the etiquette, the formality, the way with which we communicate, the speech used in discussions. It feeds something in me that I don’t know if I can put into words...but it brings me back to a time where we followed the dominant person in the household because that’s what we are expected to do.
The other side is the kinkster in me. I have discovered that I am definitely a masochist and very much enjoy pain, findimg it to be erotic and pleasurable, a foreplay if you will. I know I haven’t even begun to tap into that side of myself .
My eyes were opened to this side of myself by someone I was dating who had dominant tendencies but clearly as time has unfolded, is not a true dominant. However we did experiment and play and that is where I found I can’t go back to the vanilla world, so that relationship definitely served a purpose.
When I realize that wasn’t really going anywhere and wasn’t going to sustain me long term, I came here. I will admit it in my haste I did make a few errors in judgment as far as trusting people, but the quest continues. I’ve definitely learned much more about the dynamic in the lifestyle from those I’ve made friends with here. It’s frustrating because I have found that probably 75% of those I’ve talked to are not serious and I am trying to find the Him. Also discover the true need to serve in aspects other than just sexual.
In speaking with some of you the last couple days of how potential Doms treat subs, and seeing the posts about red flags etc, if you suspect and/or seen many of these signs what is the appropriate way to excuse yourself from the situation? I was speaking with someone who I now believe is not genuine and had several of the red flags so I told him that I needed some time to figure things out. That was a week ago. He’s not since messaged me so I’m thinking he’s OK with the fact that I haven’t messaged him either.
Sorry if this is a little all over the place but I’m just looking for opinions please.
