It's supposed to feel that way. Wait and cry and feel it hurt. Endure the pain until I let it stop. I may allow it, eventually, but I decide when. If ever.
It is time now. Tighten everything. Twist everything. Force everything in deeper. Hold it in longer. Cry louder. Hurt harder.
Like it or don't, it doesn't matter. you don't matter. you are nothing.
I may stop it, I may not. Don't dare think of begging me to. I dont give a fuck what you want or need. you dont matter. you have no worth to me except when you are weak, crying, and shaking.
Welcome the pain. I will allow it.
Eyes down.
you may not look at them. you may know that they are my friends, family, strangers. I will allow it.
Head down.
you may feel all of their hands striking you. you may know that all of their eyes despise you. you may hear all of them laughing at you. I will allow it.
Face down.
you may enjoy all of them pissing and cumming on you, hitting you from all sides, running down into your hair, into your eyes. I will allow it.
Only I may fuck you. I own all your filthy holes. your mouth and your asshole and your rancid pussy. I will use them however I wish. The rest of you is disposable. Worth nothing. you deserve nothing. you are nothing. your world is all and only about one word:
"Sir."
"yes, Sir."
"i am worth nothing but what you make me, Sir"
"i beg you to please cause me pain, Sir."
"i may not stop until you allow it, Sir"
"i thank you for slapping my ugly face, Sir."
"i exist only for you to humiliate, degrade, hurt, and abuse until I am worthless, Sir."
"i thank you, Sir."
"i love you, Sir."
That's a good girl. I never ever give this gift to anyone else, but you are special to me. Your pain means I love you more than anyone else in the whole world.
In this moment, in this way, you matter and you are someone.
I will allow it.
(orig post 8/11/19)