ok, I'm actually not hahaha. I just wanted everyone to read that and think "Oh no, my good frind LJ is in crisis! I must make haste! He needs me!"
No, no, I'm just fine, but this post is head related (as are all the best things in life.) I just wanted to get your attention so you would read the rest.
In the months between mid-2016 and today, I have aged about 17 years. Life and stuff. But - for better or for worse - I pretty much look the same.
-Ish.
I still have the same long, lush, flowing locks for which I am world renowned, maybe a few percent fewer than I had that first year, but still pretty far from noticeable.
-Ish
But I am not going bald.
I do have a very close friend who is bald.
I hate him.
I estimate that he started losing his hair in his 30's, and one day he decided Fuck It and started shaving his head - and got about 12x more laid as a result! We would walk into a room together and suddenly every eye of every woman would be on Mr. Shiny McBaldypants. After which point I may as well have stayed home because no one ever even noticed that I was there. He is that much better looking than me. Totally hate the guy.
Those here who have actually seen me will attest that I am approximately, somewhat, on a good day, in a moderately average, non-threatening way, a more or less not unattractive man. But if I am nothing else, I am one of those men who has made it well into middle age without a single grey hair. Not even one.
All of my friends around my age have grey hair. All of them. Some dye their hair to try to hide it, which looks so totally Walgreens that no one is fooling anyone. One friend even wears a bandanna everyday to cover it so no one will notice, which only serves to draw the eye toward her head, which is where she keeps all her grey hair, so everyone notices.
Yesterday I was gazing into the mirror, doing... mirror stuff (shut up, you do it too!) and I saw a strange sight. I wondered "Is the lighting suddenly different in here?" and "Did someone sneak up behind me and scare me to death when I wasn't looking?" and "Should I unearth ancient scrolls and perform sacred, nasty rituals of spiritual forbidding?" and "Wait a second..."
That's when I saw it -
My Very First Grey Hair!
It was kinda over there in the right temple region. I looked at it for a couple seconds before deciding "Yeah, that's pretty cool. It looks good on me. I can totally rock the whole single, solitary grey hair look."
I think it is, and it does, and I can.
For now, I can only imagine that one day I will again be doing mirror stuff (shut up!) and there will be another of those "Wait a second..." moments when one will have become two, then three, and so on. But for the present I am kinda liking it.
ps: "I Think I'm Going Bald" is a song from the 1975 album Caress of Steel by the rock band Rush.
That's right kids, back in the golden olden times there were these strange, magical things called record albums. Some of them had special covers that you could open and read about otherworldly things such as "lyrics" and "musical instruments" - which actual humans actually played!
They were also what grand-dad used to sort his pot.
