So being a sub is first about understanding yourself. Then it is about understanding your Dom.
The way to know if a potential Dom is a real Dom or not depends on how much he or she wants to know about you.
A real Dom wants to know everything about you. Your likes, dislikes, interests, goals, challenges, what turns you on, what turns you off, BDSM likes and dislikes, hard limits, soft limits, etc.
It is only by knowing these things that a Dom can understand you well enough to take control of your life.
So this means that you have to understand this about yourself so that you can communicate it to your prospective or current Dom. It is by understanding yourself that you can communicate who you are so that your Dom understands you and can do what it takes to keep you safe, help you grow, and make you happy.
Those are my 3 guiding principles when it comes to a sub. Everything I do is for one or more of those principles. Every rule I give a sub is also based on 1 or more of those principles. If a sub ever asks me why did I give a rule I will explain which of the 3 it is for and what the rule is ultimately supposed to do.
Now you don't need to give a Dom full control of every decision you make. You are the one to choose what level of control you want to give to your Dom. Is it like Major decisions, is it only when you are indecisive, is it every day decisions, is it absolutely all decisions, or somewhere in between?
This must be communicated to your prospective Dom as they need to know if they are a good fit or not. It is best that from the start you and your prospective Dom are on the same page as what your level of submission is.
Do not settle on a Dom just because you are attracted to him or her. They may want to control all aspects of your life and you don't want to give that much control. That doesn't mean you are not a sub it just means that you have your limit on submission and that the Dom is not a good fit for you.
End of Part 1
