Kinking It Real

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} - A few months? That is a long time to be "busy" I wonder what she thinks the 'relationship' is at this point other than a loose friendship (I say that because as an introvert I don't talk to my friends daily, sometimes monthly ((love you guys)) but to consider this person their Dom? That is a little far fetched unfortunately.

Maybe they have a dynamic that is only in scenes, if so, no time for scenes means no time to be in the dynamic. It is unfortunate that emotion is tied to it, but it is one sided. You have to set your minimum. Tell her not to be so devalued that not getting some of his time in MONTHS does not mean she is needy. That is just silly. Sorry.

I have gone extended time without scenes as well, and when I had brought it up in the past, it was also met with resentment. I am not there anymore, now when I bring it up, I am met with understanding, but also explanations. Online can be tough, but I had not felt unheard or that I was being too needy.

Some proactive advice (since mine above was the clinical stuff) ask him for a when. He should be able to provide something to look forward to, and be able to be in control of himself enough to keep to that promise. Insist he put action to his words. But also, find your compatibility level, if she needs more, find someone who can provide more.

girlyGoddess​(switch female) - This really helps, thank you so much.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - Jack wrote a blog the other day that sort of speaks to this: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?postid=50567&blog_id=25965

Kiev may be correct regarding why the Daddy is so busy. Or . . . maybe he has lost interest or maybe he is really busy. Wanting more doesn’t make your friend, your or anyone an attention whore. Yes, you might be . . . And not knowing the full details of the scenario your friend is going through, maybe she drove him off by being too needy?

Perhaps she should sit down in an adult way and discuss it with him. Part of the initial vetting process before diving into a dynamic should be elaborating on expectations to include how often contact should be. So before she invests any more time or emotion, she does need to sit down and discuss a good many things with him.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) - communication. yes!

and if he is too busy for that...

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - Then that is the answer. If he is too busy, then evaluate whether or not this is the right dynamic. I am not sorry to say that if “he” cannot make the time for communication then he doesn’t get the Treasure.

twotonnat​(dom male) - Littles tend to be needy it's part of what makes them them, as long as it doesn't get out of hand for the dom it's ok. ( some of us like it too). Communication is a big deal, he may be depressed or really busy on an important project. I don't know but he needs to give his girl that info so at the very least she doesn't think it's here and maybe help in some fashion. If he is drifting off she should talk to him about it and discuss options.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - Here's the thing that stands out to me the most, since many have already touched on the other aspects.

"... she’s afraid that once she does, she’ll realize something or something may happen and she’ll be right where she started, without a Daddy and aching over the need to serve someone."

First, when we have a "feeling" that feeling is usually correct. Follow your instincts.

Second, how would it be any different of not having a Daddy and no one to serve than where she is at already? Sounds to me like she already DOESN'T have a Daddy. And how can you Serve someone who is never around, or too busy, even for communication?

These are hard to hear, I know, but I am not one to beat around the bush. Littles NEED their CG/Daddy's/Mommy's for the very reason of being needy! The D title holds great responsibility and they, true ones, KNOW THIS!

And most importantly, a TRUE CG/Daddy/Mommy will acknowledge and recognize they are being busy and will have a talk with their little and talk ourt a schedule or how to proceed. BEFORE it gets too much!

I am sorry to hear your friend is going through this and I hope she finds the one that gives her not only the attention she deserves, but the respect she deserves as well.

Much peace and love 🌸💞🌸

girlyGoddess​(switch female) - Thank you, I’m glad that I’m not the only be who thinks this.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) - i agree or at least be willing to communicate and to learn. sometimes life happens and people err, sometimes it’s exactly as we fear.

Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - I agree! However, a 3 month+ err no longer is an err in my mind! 😔Time to call it what it is! 😡

Jlicious​(sub female) - I could not have said it any better , Morley is right on.
Your friend deserves respect , so much better . A communication needs to be had and from there she can see if worth it . But , to me from the months of distance so not worth, she can find someone else more deserving of her .
Wishing your friend the best 💕💕

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female){protected} - What everyone said! She could send him something along these lines "[name] while I understand you've been busy, I need to know my priority in your life. I keep finding myself thinking about where I stand and who I am to you. I've been getting ignored and so are my needs. I am opening this up with you to clear things. I am kindly asking you to communicate your feelings to me and whether or not you lost interest because this is affecting me emotionally."

TheWhorelock​(dom male) - Bam. Nailed it.

Sir Don​(dom male){Nt looking} - Everyone has said it .not alot can be added. By what you wrote it appears that he has someone else that is more important. If he can't make time for her then he doesn't care for her. If in fact it has been months I would question him by asking straight out.
This community is full of compassionate folks to help if she were to reach out herself.

JustGreenie - Goodness this is what happens when I nap and everyone gets the info in before me. Lol just kidding. I agree completely with everything being said.

My question is did they sit down and talk about what was to be expected, compromised and come to an agreement that would work for the two of them? I feel they need to sit down and re-access their needs and wants. How they can both be their for one another and help their dynamic grow in whatever way they see fit.

Maybe there are red flags that she is ignoring and maybe doesn’t want to come to terms with because of the hurt and betrayal she will ultimately have to feel and deal with.

They need to sit down and talk and put it all out on the table.

I hope she finds the comfort and answers she needs to be happy one way or another.

girlyGoddess​(switch female) - Thank you, from what she’s shared with me they had sat down and layed out how their dynamic would look but it seems that there was a job change that takes up more of his time. I’ve gone to her with all the advice I e seen here though and it’s been helpful.

girlyGoddess​(switch female) - Here’s an update: my friend has decided to sit and talk with her Dom, ex Dom now I should say, and even used your message @cinderallaontherun. She’s a bit hurt right now but she’s thankful for all the advice 🥰

JustGreenie - Sending her hugs, love and support.

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female){protected} - She deserves a good man who will prioritize her 💖 sending her lots of love and I am glad she has a good friend like you by her side 🖤💜

twotonnat​(dom male) - I hope her the best. Sounds like she really tried. There's only daddy's out there that will appreciate her.