Two days ago my grandma died, she wasn't a good grandma though, she wasn't a good mother either, but she was mine. A part of me so to speak. And according to my family I look just like her.
Today was her funeral, I hate funerals... I hate churches and priests, I hate praying... I hate family meetings... But most of all I hate feeling this empty...
Everyone cried today, everyone except for me, I was just... Numb and stoic like always.
Yes she never loved me, not like I can blame her for that, I wouldn't love me either if I was her. But it still hurts.
However I know that she's fine now, she had this bright aura and looked so... Peaceful... The same peace I crave for, and at this point I can't stop wondering if I will only feel like that at my own funeral.
I'm feeling sick
I really hate funerals...